Tue, 22 Jan 2008

4 years ago today
It was four years ago today that life changed drastically for us. And not in a good way. We were in a pretty happy place at the time, having found out a week before that Christa was pregnant with our third child, and just wondering how we'd handle and cope with three small children. But it was four years ago today that Nate was diagnosed with cancer.

Now here we are 4 years later. Nate is having fun in school, is currently practicing for his part in the school play, he's taking electric guitar lessons and is just signed up for his third season of little league. He has become an avid reader, a big sports fan, a video game addict, and a pal to his brother and sister. I know I'm so overdue to post pictures and updates. But life has been good.

Here is my journal entry for January 22nd, 2004. And here is my message announcing our bad news, that I sent to family and friends, that night 4 years ago.

We're so thankful for how well Nate was done. And we're so proud of our family, and how well we've pulled through the whole ordeal. And we're happy that cancer is no longer the first thing we think of every day. 18 months off treatment. And counting...

- Greg
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Thu, 26 Jul 2007

1 year off treatment and all is well
I wanted to mention that Nate had his 1 year off treatment anniversary last week. And Tuesday he had his last LP (lumbar puncture) to check for cancer cells in his spinal fluid. The results were clear, so that is very good news. Unless something comes up, he won't have any more of those. Also, his checkups and blood work now moves out to every other month. We saw his friend Catherine at the hospital. She was having a procedure the same day, for her end-of-treatment LP & BMA. We got to have lunch with her and her family after recovery. We're so happy for Catherine! And, now she gets to have ice cream before bedtime, since she's no longer taking her chemo (6MP was the troublemaker there). Funny how the little things matter so much.

We've had some flu come through the house. Becca started running a fever last weekend, and it looks like it's finally letting up. Oh, of course, Nate started running a fever late Tuesday, the same day he had his procedure. So... per discharge instructions, we put a call into the hospital. His counts were good, so they said unless he exhibits other signs that it could be an infection from the procedure, let's proceed like he caught the bug from his sister. He was sniffly on Wednesday, so he most likely just caught the same thing she has. And now Christa has some sniffles.

Last weekend was our 13th wedding anniversary. Christa and I managed to sneak off for a bit to San Francisco. Nana & Papa watched the kids (including Becca with her fever), and we got to stay over in the city. Saturday night we went to a cocktail party at the Asian Art Museum with some coworkers, smoozing with other game execs and VCs. It was to celebrate the Tezuka exhibit (
here we are with Astro Boy). Kind of fun. Just being out was worth a lot. We came home Sunday afternoon, and we can't thank my parents enough for their help, especially with the long night they had with the kids.

On a sad note, I'm going to point you to a story about a boy we met at Give Kids The World during Nate's Make-A-Wish trip last December. His name is Dana Gauthier, and unfortunately he lost his battle with brain cancer last weekend. Christa had worked with his mom, Cathy, at LSI Logic before Nate was born. It just so happened that we ran into them at GKTW in Florida, while Dana was on his MAW trip. Our hearts are with the Gauthier family.

So... off to bed now. I have to get my rest and keep from getting sick.

- Greg
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Tue, 17 Jul 2007

Time flies when you're busy!

I've added a bunch of photos to the site... Check out the monthly albums under 2007. As usual, I need to beg forgiveness for not updating. I put a buch of photos up, so hopefully you'll enjoy those.

So many things have happened since last update... a couple of birthdays (Christa and I), Nate's school play, Little League, Easter, a visit from Grandpa Neal, a quick trip away for Christa, school ended, doctors visits, selling plums, a job change, swim lessons, and so much more. I'm writing this from my feeble memory, so hopefully I haven't forgotten too much.

Nate was in the school play, he was an elf. He seems to enjoy being part of the plays. Christa helped out again, working in the green room. As usual, the play was a huge, spectacular production. Two complete casts (of scores of children), magnificent stage sets, superb performances and singing by the kids. It's a joy to see. Along with the play, Little League started and Nate had a great coach and team, and really enjoyed himself this season. Last year between the rain and weeks of time in the hospital, he sure didn't play much t-ball. He was in farm this year and enjoyed it. He's a lot faster now, he learned a lot about hitting (no tees in this league), and sure seemed to enjoy it. He even did quite a bit of practicing at home, wanting to get better. It's interesting to see him develop more on the athletic side.

I changed jobs in March, leaving Yahoo and going to a little startup called Twofish, Inc. My friend Lee Crawford founded the company. We're in the games industry, which is a first for me. However, I'm leading engineering developing the platform to support community, commerce, etc. for MMO games, and I have a lot of experience building platforms.. It's been a lot of fun (I sure missed the small company environment), but it's been tough building a team. The software industry is tight in the valley, with the likes of Google and lots of startups fighting for the same people. If you're a server-side Java developer, or a hot-shot web developer, give me a shout. I might be able to use your help. Check out the jobs here. We're still in stealth mode, but feel free to ask me about it.

We went up to Patty's house for Easter, and had all the kids together. We also celebrated her son Brian's birthday. I put a few pics in the album from the trip. We had lots of fun. The kids even went swimming in the much too cold pool. They all enjoyed the egg hunt. Good times with the cousins. It sure is nice to be close enough that we can get together on a regular basis.

Christa took a quick trip to Minneapolis in May, for a girls weekend with her cousin Amy. Amy lives near there, so the two of them had a nice weekend together without their kids. There's a couple photos in the album from the trip. I think they really enjoyed the time together, and the break from motherhood.

There was a sad turn of affairs for the little boy Lance I mentioned last summer in this entry. I attended his funeral (it was the weekend Christa was in MN) and it reminds me how far we are from the 100% cure we hope for in kids with cancer. The service was a celebration of his life, but the image of the tiny coffin still haunts me. Childhood cancer is the leading disease cause of death for kids in the US. Lance had relapsed last summer, had a bone marrow transplant, and had been doing really well. Apparently he took a very unexpected turn for the worse. It's truly unfair for a beautiful little 3 year old. Unfair.

Christa's Dad came and joined us for a week, and and got to spend a lot of good time with the kids. We all went up to Tahoe, and spent a day at the Renaissance fair up there. The kids had a good time and we even managed to go check out the lake while we were there. Only downside was I managed to tweak my back, and so that was annoying.

June has had a lot of activity, the end of the school year being a busy time. Christa has been very busy with all of that. She's going to be the classroom coordinator for Nate's class next year, so that will add to her workload. If anyone can handle it, it's Christa. Right after school was out, the kids went up to Folsom and stayed with Grandma Madie and Grandpa Bob. While the kids were gone, for Christa's birthday, I took her to the Gwen Stefani concert with her friend Anna and husband Dave. Everyone had a great time. I'll have to put up the picture from there. Lots of fun.

We headed to Nana and Papa's house for the 4th of July with the usual time in the sun at the lake and lots of kids playing in the water & kayaking. As usual, lots of food and hanging out. The fireworks were great but apparently not captivating enough to keep Andrew awake. He was wiped from swimming, and not really liking the loud explosions of the fireworks. I had to lug him up the hill to the car which is getting to be quite the chore with my moose of a four year old. Pretty soon he needs to start carrying me.

Last thing to tell about here is that Christa headed to Illinois with the kids to visit her Grandma B. She'll get home in a couple of days, so it's been quiet around the house here. I've been keeping busy working and doing a few minor household chores. She is going to really need a break when she get's back. Good thing it's our anniversary and we're sneaking away for a quick overnighter to San Francisco. Thanks in advance to Nana & Papa.

We're within a week of Nate's 1 year anniversary of completing his treatment for leukemia. Our life has resumed a much more normal pattern. And boy is it busy. A week from now Nate will have what we hope to be his last ever spinal tap. It's a diagnostic test to check one last time for leukemia cells in his spinal fluid. He has been doing monthly bloodwork to check also. The bloodwork will continue, but I desperately hope we're done with these. Last month we thought we'd be doing it early. Nate had been having headaches, and that can be a bad sign. So the spinal was scheduled, but the headaches seemed to go away before we got to the procedure, and so it was rescheduled to coincide with his 1 year mark. Let's keep our fingers crossed. Oh, and Nate's friend Catherine from school is about to reach her end of treatment point. Her 2.5 years of chemo are done. We're so excited for her and her family. And, on a final, yet still cancer related note, I was contacted by a family in LA who have a little boy named Nathan that is 6 months into treatent for ALL. The mom had found my journal here, and had been reading through it. The little boy has the same TEL/AML1 genetic marker that my Nate did. And, apparently, little Nathan has had a very similar hunger for sushi like my Nate did (remember Nate here?). Strange coincidence. They sound like a very nice family, maybe we'll be able to meet them in person some time. Their little boy is on a 3.5 year chemo treatment plan (the protocols have changed since we started), and is about 6 months in. We wish them all the best in their long, long journey. I love to point to my little hero, as he represents so much hope.

It's late, good night. Best wishes to all.

- Greg
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Tue, 13 Mar 2007

Trip to the snow

We took a trip to the Sierra's for a few days at the end of February, and had a nice time. We were snowed upon, which made for some nice power to play in. We rented a nice little cabin in Strawberry, up by Dodge Ridge. Took the boys for ski lessons, but that was a bust. Too crowded (they overbooked the classes), had to wait until later in the day because the morning classes were full. In general a bust.

We did some sledding on the hill across the street from the cabin. Somebody's backyard, as it was. But, they didn't seem to be around and we made a nice little sled run, and had loads of fun.

Lots has been happening around our household... Nate is in the middle of the school play right now. He performed twice last weekend, and had his final performance coming up this weekend. Christa is helping in the green room, and so she's busy with that also.

Other than a few sniffles, we're all doing well. We're enjoying this spring-like weather, for sure.

To help with the pace of updates to the website, I'm writing instructions for Christa. As she rightfully pointed out, rather than have to rely on me to update it, I need to show here the tools I'm using to do this. Should pay off for anyone bothering to check the site.

Take care

- Greg
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Sun, 31 Dec 2006

When you wish upon a star...

We're back from Nate's Make-A-Wish trip! It was incredible. Let me fill you in on the history, however. In November of 2005 Nate met with the Wish folks, and wished for a trip to Disney World at Christmas. Well, they couldn't make it happen for Christmas '05, so tried to talk him into Feb. or April of '06. He was adamant about Christmas, and said "I want to go to Disney World at Christmas. This Christmas, next Christmas, or the Christmas after that". So, Christmas '06 it was planned for.

We left on the 21st, with a big black limo pulling up in the driveway. The limo took us to the airport, where we flew to Orlando by way of Dallas. Once we arrived in Orlanda, a greeter was waiting from Give Kids The World (GKTW). He helped us get to our rental car, and get us on our way as quickly as possible. We drove our rental minivan to the Give Kids the World village. Upon arrival, we checked in inside the House of Hearts. They had stuffed animals (Shamu and Mickey) for the kids, and tshirts for the kids. They gave us some information, and sent brought us to our villa, where we'd be staying. It was late in the evening, and it was great that they had stocked our fridge with milk, juice, etc. Also, there were 5 sandwiches waiting in there for us, since we had missed dinner time.

The villa is a 2 bedroom, 2 batch duplex. There's a small kitchen and a living room. The kids get the master suite, complete with bathroom with jacuzzi tub and large shower. Christa and I got a bedroom with a a small bathroom off the hallway. This is give *kids* the world, after all. I'll post some more pictures from GKTW soon (nice pics of the village). The Give Kids The World provides the stay free of charge, breakfast and dinner daily, free ice cream, all sorts of great little perks. Inside the Castle of Dreams, on the ceiling are thousands and thousands of small shiny stars. Each one has been signed by a child who has stayed at the village. And now, Nate's star has joined the others.

Friday morning (the 22nd) I met for GKTW orientation, where I was given the free tickets to Disney, SeaWorld, Universal, and other information. After that, we headed to Disney World's Magic Kingdom. We drove in, had free parking because of our GKTW parking pass, boarded shuttle in the parking lot, took that to the ferry boat, which took us accross the lake to the park. The scale of things at Disney World is incredible. You have to take mass transportation (ferry or monorail) from the parking lot just to get to the Magic Kingdom park.

We went into the park, rode a few rides, then met up with Grandma Madie and Grandpa Bob. We rode quite a few rides. Nate wore his Make-A-Wish shirt & hat, and had a lanyard with his GKTW button. Between that, and the special access pass I wore around my neck, we had quick access to all the rides. Rides that took fast-pass would take us right in, and those without fast-pass would usually take us through the disabled access or the exit. It sure beat standing in line. Sometimes I would feel a bit guilty about it, but I guess it's just karma earned for waiting in the hospital for innumerable hours over a couple of years.

We spent all day Friday at the park, watched the fireworks, then headed over to Bob & Madie's hotel for dinner. Actually, they all went there, I went to find the car (at which point it started to rain heavily. I met back up with them in the Mickey restaurant at their hotel. We headed home a little later with a bunch of very tired out kids.

Saturday we did more of the same... we met Bob & Madie at their hotel, walked over to the Magic Kingdom, rode a couple rides, and watched the Christmas parade. We then headed over to Epcot Center (via monorail) and rode a few rides there. Late afternoon, early evening we started checking out the different "countries" as part of the Epcot park, but then started to run out of steam. We parted ways with Madie & Bob, and headed to back to Magic Kingdom so that we could experience the electric parade (or whatever it's called now). That was fun. We also rode Pirates of the Carribean again (which the boys loved, Becca not so much). After that we headed back to get our car at Madie's hotel, and took our gaggle of very tired kids home.

Sunday we went straight to Disney's Animal Kingdom park, and met Bob and Madie there. We wandered around there all day, and in the afternoon Bob and Madie took off to meet up with Madie's brother Don who came into town. We finished out the day at Animal Kingdom, and headed over to Bob & Madie's hotel about dusk. The kids wolfed down a few chicken nuggets (dinner of champions, for sure) at their hotel room, and we headed back to Give Kids the World to finish out our Christmas Eve. This included visiting Mr. and Mrs. Claus in the Castle of Dreams (who had presents for all the kids), and ice cream at the ice cream parlor. After a baths we got the kids to bed so that Santa could visit that night.

Monday morning the kids woke up bright and early (Nate led the charge and happily woke up his brother and sister) to discover that Santa had found us all the way in Florida. After opening presents, we headed up to the theatre, where Mickey Mouse, Pluto and Mary Poppins were visiting the kids. We had our picture taken in the theater with the characters. The kids played with their new toys for a while, and then we met up with Bob & Madie, Martha (Madie's sister) and her husband, and Don (Madie's brother) for lunch. We went to a nice seafood restaurant at Downtown Disney, and had a nice meal (far better than the park fare). We had planned to stay and do some shopping there for souvenirs, but it started pouring rain, torrential almost. So, we loaded up the kids and headed back to GKTW. We had planned to swim that day at the village, but the pools were closed because of the rain and lightning. We still had a good time, and Bob and Madie joined us later in the day for dinner at the village. This was our last night at Give Kids the World, and we were making the best of it. It was nice to have a sort of "down day", enjoying the village.

Tuesday morning we packed up and headed out of GKTW. We decided to go to SeaWorld, and check out the marine life and shows. It was much cooler now, and threatened to rain a few times. We watched the dolphin show and whale show, went through the sharks exhibit, and tried to feed or touch a dolphin. We were too late for the feeding, and the dolphins were tired of people by then, so didn't get to touch them. We headed out just after dark, and drove to Cocoa Beach, on the Atlantic side of Florida, to stay at our hotel on the beach. We got there in the evening, grabbed some sandwiches for dinner, and hung out.

Wednesday morning we ate bagels and cereal at the hotel, which was an old-school single-story job, right on the beach. We spent the day running down to the beach, building sand castles, etc. It was pretty cool, with a brisk wind, so we didn't end up swimming. I shipped a couple of packages home that afternoon, since we had sooo many toys, etc from Christmas and our trip. We had a nice dinner at a local restaurant, and spent some time packing up our stuff that evening. This was to be our last night in Florida.

Thursday morning we headed out early, stopped by the Starbuck's in Cocoa Beach (there is a serious dearth of espresso in Florida), and drove to Orlando to catch our flight home. Many hours later we had traversed an entire continent and arrived at SJ airport. There, our driver picked us up (this whole chauffer limo thing rocks), and we rode home in another stretch limo (Andrew called it the "big fancy car"). About 5pm we arrived home, hungry and tired, having finished our big trip.

The Christmas lights were on, our house was warm, and there was a large pile of packages inside that had arrived while we were gone. Thanks to Pat & Larry for turning on the heat and lights and putting the boxes inside each day! I ran to get spaghetti & meat balls, we ate dinner, and had our third or fourth Christmas for this year.

This was the blow-by-blow of what happened... we'll post some more highlights from the trip. I wanted to get this up here, along with the first stab as posting photos. I hope you all enjoy. Merry Christmas, and have a Happy New Year!

- Greg

PS - I realize it's been 3 months since I updated the site. I'll try to do better.

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Wed, 13 Sep 2006

No' Mo' Chemo Party Pics...

Ok, I put up some pictures from the No Mo' Chemo Party. There are a lot more for me to sift through and publish. The pictures of Nate seeing his trophy for the first time are great. Click the picture to see the album.

We've been busy lately, Christa and I are working on the school directory for Nate's school. There's about 280 families in the school and it's quite a bit of work. We spent Labor Day weekend working in the evenings to get things going. Luckily, Michelle, the former directory person, was very very organized, and we were able to pick up most of what she did very easily. We haven't done the page layout portion yet, so that might get tricky, but we'll be working on that soon. Updates for the info should start trickling back in soon from the families, so lots of data entry to come.

Andrew and Becca started preschool... Becca is in Teacher Anna's class, for the 2 year olds, and Andrew is in Teacher Nancy's class for the 3's. They're loving it.

Currently Nate and I are at $825 of donations towards our goal of $2000. We only have one month left to reach our goal. Please help the cause, support research for cures for blood cancers, and make a difference in the lives of families devestated by leukemia, lymphoma and other blood cancers. http://www.active.com/donate/ltnSanJo/MyHeroNate

Good night!

- Greg
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Tue, 29 Aug 2006

No' Mo' Chemo Party
Saturday, August 26th we had a party for Nate. It was a big party, at Lakewood Park in Sunnyvale. Probably close to 200 people showed up, with a very large number of them kids. He had friends from Washington Open, from SCPNS and elsewhere. All of his cousins showed up. This was all to celebrate finishing treatment. There was a magician to entertain, and Ben & Jerry's ice cream guys scooping out ice cream. We had frisbees made to give away. It was a grand time. We presented a trophy for completing treatment, and he was beaming. The magician brought him up in front of the audience and definately made him feel special.

We have a lot of photos that I need to go through from the party, and I'll get those up here soon. Also, I'll post our thank you letter that we handed out on Saturday. So much to do...

Yesterday was Nate's first day of school. He's a big 1st grader now. As luck would have it, he had a low fever yesterday morning and wasn't feeling well. So, he missed the first day of school. Very dissapointing for us, and a bit for him. Well, he's off to school today, so hopefully all is well.

On a final note, Nate and I are raising money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. They support research and patient care and provide educational services to newly diagnosed patients. We'll be walking in the Light the Night at Burgess Park in Menlo Park, on October 14th. Nate will be there holding his white balloon, which recognizes his survivorship. We'll also be participating in a foosball tournament fundraiser at my work,
Yahoo! . We've set a very high goal for fundraising, and we could use your help in getting to our goal. Please see our donation page, and we'd love your financial support, if possible. http://www.active.com/donate/ltnSanJo/MyHeroNate

Thanks,

- Greg
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Fri, 25 Aug 2006

Sad note, camping and more camping.
I'd like to first mention that a friend of ours, a family we've connected with because of cancer, found out their little boy has relapsed. The poor little buddy is just about 2 years old, and it appears will be headed for a bone marrow transplant as soon as he's in remission and a donor match can be found. This is very sad news. They live close by here in Santa Clara, and we'll help them the best we can, but please keep little Lance in your prayers and thoughts.

I took the boys on a quick camping trip 2 weeks ago. We went all the way to Saratoga Springs (about 15 or 20 minutes from home). Nate's friend Zach, and his dad Eric came with us. It was a lot of fun. The campground is a bit cramped, but there's a swimming pool and a little arcade, and they had a big inflatable slide and jumphouse. Those were great, but I think the highlights were throwing rocks into the creek we were next to, and, of course, the campfire. Little (and big) boys like to burn stuff, so that provides lots of entertainment. It's a pretty spot, but next time we'll plan ahead better and reserve a spot at a state campgrounds, like Big Basin, or somewhere. As soon as I get the photos together, I'll post them.

Last weekend was my annual camping trip with some buddies. It was a good time. Francis and I drove up together, and we met Mike, Rich, Keith and Randy up there. The usual fishing, campfires and beer type event. Rich brought his ham radio and made contacts with people across the US. We caught a lot of fish, ate too much and drank too much. All, in all, a good time. Pics are
here.

Good night.

- Greg
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Sun, 06 Aug 2006

Camps and visits and hardwood floors.
Nate is off at
Camp Okizu this week. 6 days. Without mom or dad. By himself. With lots of other kids that have cancer, or are off treatment. Crazy... 6 years old, and off for a week with strangers. Are we nuts? Probably. Okizu is a beautiful place, where kids with cancer hang out with other kids that just "get it". Bald heads don't get stares. Wheelchairs are fine. Steroid puffy cheeks are normal. Where one minute you're shooting arrows at the archery range, and the next you're getting the bandage on your Hickman changed and the lines flushed. It's a special place, run by special people.

Christa headed to Nana & Papa's last Sunday with all the kids. The, Monday morning she drove up to Berry Creek (near Oroville) to drop Nate off at camp. She said not many kids were there yet (the buses hadn't arrived yet), so he got lots of attention from the counselors. Probably a good thing for the transition. Then Christa went back to Nana & Papa's and has been there all week. Tomorrow morning she'll go get Nate and head home. It's about a 4 hr drive from Camp Okizu to home. She's awesome.

Well, last Sunday after Christa left, Rich came over and helped me move our couches and a big cabinet (thanks Rich!). Then, I ripped up the carpet in the living room and down the hallway, and then cleaned out all the tackstrips and staples. Monday a guy showed up and started the work of sanding, repairing, and then refinishing the hardwood floors. They finished on Wednesday, but I haven't moved much back in, because I was being careful of the floors. Take a look!

Now, I've been slowly working on putting it all back together... the dust is crazy, and gets everywhere. But at least the kids were gone while the fumes from the polyurethane dried.

One more thing... If you're inclined to track my posts via RSS, you're welcome to. Here's the link to the Doane RSS feed

Good night.

- Greg
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Thu, 20 Jul 2006

Nate is officially off treatment. OT. Done. Finished. Cancer free.
How many days left, Nate?
That's right. ZERO! You're done!

Nate had a spinal tap and a bone marrow aspiration yesterday. This was end of treatment diagnostic tests, to confirm that he's still in clinical remission. And, it's confirmed. He's still clear of cancer. We're ecstatic. I've been walking around today, telling everyone that "today is a great day".

Here's some numbers:

  • 2.5 years = 30 months = 130 weeks = 910 days = 37% of Nate's life being treated.
  • 2 surgeries
  • 4 bone marrow aspirations
  • 18 lumbar punctures (spinal taps)
  • Around 200 blood draws, probably 140 of which were from his arm
  • 9 different chemo medications (dexamethasone, methotrexate, cytarabine, vincristine, 6-mercaptopurine, 6-thioguanine, cyclophosphamide, daunorubicin, PEG asparaginase)
  • dozens and dozens of IV punctures
  • thousands of pills.
  • 3.5 weeks of overnight hospital stays
  • ER visits at 4 different hospitals
  • 1 new sibling
Now what? Nate becomes a "normal" kid. We hope to not have cancer be always at the forefront of our lives. But, it's not gone yet. 3 more spinals. Monthly checkups and labs. Friends still being treated. Our efforts to help improve the process for other families. For Nate, eventually it'll be the afterthought. Or the "remember when ..."

Let me leave you tonight with a little photo album, mostly about treatment.



Good night.

- Greg
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Wed, 19 Jul 2006

The last day.
Only 1 day left!!


I'll add more info, later. Honest. All the details about a long day at the hospital followed by a quick trip up to SF to the Giants game, watching them win with a bunch of other Make-A-Wish recipients.

Good night.

- Greg
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Tue, 18 Jul 2006

2 days left, a junkie in the making
Only 2 days left!!


A couple days ago, Nate was saying "I can't wait until Tuesday". I asked why, and he said two things: "the baseball game we're going to, and my procedure.". I asked why he couldn't wait until his procedure. He replied "because I really like the feeling of the gas, the sleepy medicine". There you have it. My 6 year old is an anesthesia junkie.

- Greg
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Mon, 17 Jul 2006

3 days left


- Greg
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Sat, 15 Jul 2006

1 hand, 5 fingers
Nate can now count on 1 hand the number of days of chemo left!

Good night!

- Greg
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Fri, 14 Jul 2006

First day of the last week.
I filled Nate's weekly pillbox with his last 20 chemo pills. How 'bout them apples?



I added a bunch of pictures under the 2006, July category. This includes and the new loft bed in the boy's room, and Becca's new bed. Our baby is out of her crib, and into a big girl (or boy?) bed. I think she might be the next Danica Patrick!

Oh, and I put some pics up from our Giants vs. A's game last month. They're in June - Greg
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Wed, 12 Jul 2006

8 days
The countdown is seriously on. 8 more days.

On another note, I changed the
photos section of the website, since I'll be using a new tool to generate my photo albums. It'll be much easier for me to put pictures up, now. Check it out.

- Greg
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Mon, 10 Jul 2006

Two hands, 10 fingers. It's within our grasp.
It now only takes two hands to count the days of chemo left. Before tonight's dose of mercaptopurine, he only has 10 days of chemo left. That means he has completed 900 days of chemo. To put it in perspective, Nate is only 2467 days old.

Of course, the fun isn't over. Next Tuesday Nate will have a spinal tap and a bone marrow aspiration. They'll be checking for cancer cells. If I'm a little blue that morning, it'll surely be from holding my breath. He will continue to do his bloodwork on a monthly basis, and every 4 months will have a spinal to check for relapse. Even when the cancer is over, it's not over.

We were up at Nana and Papa's house for the 4th of July. We had a nice time, the kids did a bunch of swimming in the lake, and all the crazy cousins where there with our crazy kids. We watched fireworks on the 4th, and Christa and I, being a little crazy ourselves, packed the kids in to the car and headed home about 11:30pm. We got home a little before 3am. Gotta say, the kids travelled well and there wasn't much traffic.

Thanks for checking in!

- Greg
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Fri, 16 Jun 2006

"Miracle of my life"
Today Nate finished kindergarten. He graduated. I told him tonight that now he's a first grader. He said "no, I'm a no schooler". That's Nate.

A couple days ago, it was almost bed time, and I asked Nate to come over to the counter to take his chemo. He expressed his frustration at having to take his meds. I told him "well, don't worry, it's not much longer". He said, "yeah it is, it's like 3 more months or something". I smiled at him and told him it was less. He guessed 2 months, and I smiled again, and said less. He seemed pretty happy when he guessed 1 month. I told him well, just a little longer than a month. He replied "that's the miracle of my life."

I thought to myself, "Yes, it very well could be."

- Greg
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Sun, 11 Jun 2006

Toddler Slobber
Since all I ever write about is the trials & tribulations with Nate, I figured I'd offer up something funny from the other day. Christa was at the store with Becca and let her play with her phone. Now, Becca can be quite persistent, and if she's not occupied, she wants to go get into everything in the store. I'm sure Christa locked her keypad so that Becca couldn't make any calls. But, we learned something about toddler slobber. Later, when Christa wanted to make a call, her phone wasn't working. She discovered on the screen that it said "*Car Kit*". Basically, the phone had detected that it was plugged into a car installation kit, and using an external speaker & microphone. Of course, it wasn't really. But it thought it was.

I figured it needed to be reset or something. I searched online, and the first article I found said "I let my baby play with the phone, and they drooled all over the phone, and now it says 'Car Kit'". I laughed and had Christa read it. Hilarious. I guess it's a common problem with these phones, the LG VX3200.

Turns out the problem was the liquid get's into connector, shorts out the contacts (makes an electrical connection), and then the phone thinks it's plugged into the car adapter. There were a range of solutions from resetting the phone to opening it up and drying it with a hairdryer (yeah, I guess a bunch of people end up going for a swim forgetting their phone is in their pocket). Resetting didn't work, hair dryer didn't work, but opening it up and blasting the connectors & circuit board with electronics cleaner seemed to do the trick.

Beware the dangers of Toddler Slobber!

- Greg
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Fri, 02 Jun 2006

We're home.
Labs done yesterday morning showed Nate with an ANC of 110.... not enough to get out, by itself. However, his monocyte count was pretty high, which indicates that he's got a decent chance of fighting infection. And, the trend is for rising counts, so Dr. Twist sent us home. We got out just after 1pm. It was simply awesome. Of course, Nate, being the contrarian he is, didn't want to leave. Because he didn't get a chance to go to the playroom to play video games yet that day. Go figure.

Today Christa, the kids, and Neal (did I mention Christa's dad is in town?) hung out at home mostly. We're going to keep Nate away from people for a few days, get labs done next week, and hopefully his counts will be nice and high then. Of course, that means we'll resume chemo then, also. Ick. But, we're almost done.

Oh yeah, and I finally changed the photo on our homepage here... Christa has been asking me to for, what, like 6 months or something.

Thanks for checking in with us. Good night!

- Greg
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Tue, 30 May 2006

Oh where, oh where, have my little neutrophils gone...
Well, yesterday's labs had Nate with a white blood cell count of about 2000, but an ANC of 44. Today his WBC was up some more, but his ANC is like 36. BTW, the difference between 44 and 36 is negligible. So, he's still inpatient. Vicki came back down (she rocks!) again last night, watched the kids today while I went to work. Christa is stuck at LPCH. I went to the hospital after work, Christa came home for a few hours, then headed back up there. Now, I'm home, and will go to work tomorrow.

Christa's Dad comes into town tomorrow from Illinois. We were supposed to go to Tahoe this coming weekend, but at this point I'll be happy to just have Nate home. Debrah and Catherine stopped by today, since Catherine had her pentamidine appointment today. The went to Camp Okizu last weekend, and brought some goodies for Nate. Apparently Okizu got a bunch of swag from Lucas, star wars gear. That was really nice.

So, life is hectic, as usual. We're on our, what, 6th straight night of this hospital stay. Our record is 8 days, set in March. We surely don't want to break that record!

Good night!

- Greg
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Sun, 28 May 2006

Camp Lucy
Camp Okizu we did not make. Instead, it's Camp Lucy. As in, Camp Lucille Packard Children's Hospital. Nate's counts on Thursday were low (ANC was 300) and his fever persisted, so admitted we were. It took a few tries to get an IV in. A couple different nurses, including Verna tried but failed. She's had good success in the past. They managed to get Beth from the PACU to come downstairs to clinic and try his IV. She got it in on her second try. So, he's got his IV in the crook of his left arm. It took a couple hours to get the IV in, long enough that Nate's oncologist ordered up his antibiotics to be injected into his thighs to get him started. Luckily they got the IV started at that point, or we would have had 3 shots to his thighs and still would have had to get an IV in.

We headed upstairs to 2N. We passed a large group of very sad people in the hallway outside the PICU. Christa later read the online website about a boy,
Nicholas, we met earlier this year. He passed on Thursday. I'm sure it was all of his family and friends. I don't know what else to say.

Vicki came down and watched the kids on Friday so I could go to work. Christa stayed at LPCH with Nate. We've been swapping who sleeps there each night. Tonight will be my night. Luckily Nate has been feeling pretty well, even though his fever persists. We're now at 7 days straight of fevers. It hasn't gone much about 103, and he's had no fever some of the time, but it's not gone. Next labs will be tomorrow, but I doubt his counts will have recovered much. The good news so far is that his liver enzymes are coming down, moving back towards normal. They were high last Sunday.

I have to say Nate is quite the trooper. Getting the IV in sucked, but he's been very brave for all his other blood draws. He's had draws done Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Each time his fever would spike back up, they'd do another clean blood draw to start blood cultures looking for bacterial infection. All of that has been negative. The resident the other day said he had a crackling in his right lung and that the chest xray showed it wasn't fully inflated. Christa said that it sounded fine today according to the doctor. We've been tossing the football in the hallway quite a bit, and lots of walking around and heading to the playroom. Hopefully the activity has helped.

This afternoon, Nate's friend Jackson and his dad are visiting Nate. That's very nice of them. I'm sure it'll help break up the tedium of a day in the hospital.

I'll try and update again tomorrow night. Thanks for checking in with us.

- Greg
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Wed, 24 May 2006

Wow... 2 months.
It's 2 months since my last entry. Why so long? Maybe because we're busy. Maybe because I'm lazy. Maybe both.

What did the last 2 months bring? A trip to Illinois to see Grandma B, Grandpa Neal, Uncle Larry, and all of Christa's relatives. Trip went well, had a great time, stayed at Grandma's house, she just loved Becca (who was quite the charmer). I've got a ton of pics, need to post them.

How are the kids you ask? Well, Nate broke out with hand/foot/mouth disease (the
coxsackie virus) on May 12th, so he stayed home from school. Luckily he didn't have a fever. Christa went to her mom's on the 13th for Mother's Day, stayed over and came home Sunday the 14th. We were supposed to go to Courageous Kids Day at Great America for a fun day for cancer kids, but since Nate had newly broken out, we didn't want to expose any other cancer kids. Sunday night Christa started running a fever with a sore throat. A couple days later Andrew started a fever and sore throat. A few days later Becca started running a fever. And, unfortunately, Sunday the 21st Nate started running a fever.

Of course, Nate's fever meant an ER trip, so off to Stanford we headed. His counts were good enough to send us home, though (ANC was 1200 or something). His fever has persisted since, and he did labs at his clinic visit yesterday, and barely escaped with ANC of 670 or so. He has still had a fever today, and we'll be headed to clinic tomorrow morning for a follow up. I'm just hoping his counts are still high enough to escape the hospital. If he's still febrile and his counts drop below 500, we're gonna be stuck in-patient running IV antibiotics. Oh, and he feels like crap since he's running 102 or 103 fevers, so I really really want those to go away.

Almost forgot to mention... we were planning on heading to Camp Okizu for family camp this weekend, Memorial weekend. Looks like those plans are shot. My kids are all gonna be bummed, since they've had a grand time there before and were really looking forward to it.

Anyone for a big serving of crap sandwich? Good night.

- Greg
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Fri, 24 Mar 2006

Nate is out.
Here it is, Thursday 3/23. And Nate is out. Done. Gonzo. No longer in the big house. His ANC today was 750, so they said "see ya". How about that?

Andrew was happy to have his brother home. We're all happy to be together.... at home!

Good night.

- Greg
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Wed, 22 Mar 2006

We have found Neutro Phil!
Our favorite superhero, Neutro Phil, has returned. And, he came back with 449 of his friends. Nate's ANC is now 450. Awesome. Very, very good. The magic number is 500. The way things currently stand, it is very possible that Nate will get released from the hospital tomorrow. They'll stop the vencomycin, which he's been getting because of the bacterial growth in the blood culture (which they suspect is due to contamination... maybe of the sample).

So, what a difference a couple days make. I gotta run. Christa has been up at the hospital since last night, and I'm gonna swap out with her for tonight.

Thanks for the positive thoughts, prayers, whatever else is making for Nate's recovery now.

- Greg
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Sassy punk.
Yesterday we talked to the attending oncologist, and he isn't as concerned with the slow recovery as I had picked up from the other doc. In fact, he said that if Nate's counts keep heading up, even if slowly, then he's not gonna do the bone marrow aspiration on Thursday. One point he made was that since we're treating Nate w/ antibiotics, his body doesn't really have to step up an immune response to fight it. So, maybe his counts would be going up faster if he wasn't on antibiotics. Kind of weird, but that's what we got from it.

Nate's doing pretty good, actually. He's a bit of a punk, very sassy. He's been going to school in the hospital (they have the kindergartners from 9;30 to 11:30), so that keeps him occupied for some good periods of time. Also, he's been in the play room when it's open, and been playing the playstation games in there.

Yesterday I came up to the hospital at lunch, and after work. Christa went home for a few hours last evening, and then came back. Nate was asleep, so I actually got to sit and talk with her for like a half hour. I miss that. :-)

Thanks for checking our site.

- Greg
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Tue, 21 Mar 2006

Litte bits of information.
Little bits of information can make such a difference. Especially if the parent's of the sick kid are left out.

It's Monday night, what has happened. Nate is still inpatient. Friday night I stayed with Nate at the hospital. He was still running fevers. His IV antibiotics (cephtaz) continued every 8 hours. Saturday afternoon I snuck home for a while (Christa was there). Christa was staying Saturday night, but then she became sick. So, at 2:30am I headed up to the hospital and switched out with Christa. If we're sick, we can't be around Nate since he's severely neutropenic. Sunday morning at 3:30am or so, Nate was running a 102.4 fever... this called for yet another blood draw for a culture. At 5:30 am, he had a 100.3 fever. When he woke up at 8:30am, he had no fever. He was feeling good, etc. I was starting to get hopeful. His counts were now ANC of 100, but not rising very quickly.

About 2pm, the resident doctor said that LPCH had a bed opening up and that they wanted to transfer us up there. I was thinking that was great, but why now? It seemed Nate was doing well, his fever had dropped, and he was acting quite good. Our room mate seemed like he needed to go up there more than us. But, whatever, they had already arranged for the ambulance for transport.

So, hastily we packed up our belongings (luckily Madie was there to help), and Nate and I took the ambulance ride to LPCH. We got our own room, since he had a history of RSV, they thought they'd keep him separate to start with. The resident, Nancy, came in about 5pm and started to fill me in. She said that because Nate's fevers had persisted for 4 days with IV antibiotics, that they were getting concerned it could be a fungal infection. They wanted to schedule a CT scan for Monday to check sinuses, lungs, etc. Also, his ANC was not rising very fast, so they were worried about that, especially since they had seen 1% blasts in his first blood test from Wednesday.

That's when the little bit of information, such a small piece of information, finally was told to me. Blasts. Blasts. As in "Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia.". Over 2 years of chemo, and here I'm getting the information that maybe the cancer was back.

She went on to explain that none of the subsequent blood tests showed any blasts, but that's not conclusive. Also, the bone marrow can spit out immature cells (blasts) when it is severely stressed. But, we would schedule for a BMA in a few days, and if his counts don't improve, then we'd be checking his marrow.

To make my evening even better, late last night the nurse mentioned that it sounded like the doctor wanted to do a spinal on Nate on Monday. I asked her to have the doctor come talk to me. If they're going to do a spinal, then there was some new information that I hadn't heard. And damned if I'm not going to get the information right away. For a long couple hours, here I am thinking that the latest blood work showed something bad. And they wanted to check for CNS relapse. Yeah, so about 1am, she was in the room and said "sorry about that information, the spinal was for a different patient". That sick knot in my stomach could relax. A little.

Here we are Monday night. No CT scan was done today since Nate has remained afebrile (without fever). And, one of the multitude of blood cultures run over the last 5 days grew some bacteria. So, a specific antibiotic (need to get the name from Christa) is being administered via IV every 8 hours for the next 7 to 10 days. They mentioned that it is hard on the veins, and he's had the same IV in his hand since Wednesday. It won't last much longer. They're talking about putting in a PICC line (temporary central catheter), which should help. Typically they do that under sedation, but I'm thinking we'll be putting Nate out for it. He doesn't sedate well, at all.

That's what I got for tonight. We're not out of the woods yet. If his ANC doesn't recover soon, we're doing a BMA Thursday, checking for relapse. If his ANC recovers, and his fever stays gone, then we might get sent home with his PICC line in, and we'll administer his antibiotics. We'll have to see.

This is scary, scary stuff. Please keep the good thoughts coming. No fevers. Lots of neutrophils. NO BLASTS! That's what we need. That's what Nate needs.

- Greg
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Fri, 17 Mar 2006

Where, oh where, have those neutrophils gone?
Nate's CBC from today had a WBC of 0.9, with no neutrophils in the differential. Still an ANC of 0. Christa has been up there since this morning, I snuck into work for a while. Came home to a corned beef and cabbage and potatos dinner. I'm heading up in a couple minutes, Christa can come home and sleep here.

Nate got his IV disconnected for a little while this morning, and was able to ride a big wheel around the hospital hallways for a little bit. Tonight, however, Christa said he was pretty tired, and had started to spike a fever ( like 102.7). That means a needle stick for a clean blood draw to run blood cultures.

Madie came last night, she's awesome. She's been watching Becca and AJ today. Nana and Papa showed up tonight, and they're now down visiting with Nate. Papa brought his PS2 for Nate to have for video games in the room. We'll hold out for tomorrow on that, otherwise he'll try and stay up all night.

That's is for now. Thanks for checking in. Send Nate some positive thoughts.

- Greg
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Thu, 16 Mar 2006

Nate is stuck in-patient... fever & neutropenia strikes again.
Nate is stuck in-patient. We went to Valley Medical Center last night, went straight to the pediatric ward skipping the nasty ER. After several hours, we finally got an IV in... (several attempts by different nurses). They started the cephtaz antibiotic. The staff has been very good, and the residents split time between Stanford & Valley, so that's part of the "overflow" agreement they have w/ Stanford.

Nate's CBC from 1am this morning showed that his WBC went up some (from .5 up to .9), however there were no neutrophils showing up in the differential, so he's basically a 0 ANC. Bummer. We'll see how long he stays this time.

Christa came up today w/ Becca & AJ so they could see Nate for a bit. Then I brought the little two home for naps, got cleaned up, we'll have dinner, then we'll head back up again after dinner. Christa will then come home w/ the little ones, and I'll stay over w/ Nate again.

I'll update as I can.

- Greg
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Wed, 15 Mar 2006

Off to the hospital
Well, Nate is neutropenic, and running a fever. Off to an inpatient stay we go. Oh, and with a twist. Stanford doesn't have any beds, so we're going to Valley Medical Center. Lovely. Good bye.

- Greg
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Sat, 04 Mar 2006

Here's our blue monkey!


- Greg
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Fri, 03 Mar 2006

Opening performance!
Tonight is the opening performance of Dr. Doolittle, the school play. Nate is a blue island monkey. He's gonna be in a 3 performances, two this weekend, and one next weekend. It is quite the production, with about 90 students in the cast. Oh, and of course, that's not enough. There's actually two entire student casts, each with about 90 students. Oh, but wait, there's more. There is also an entire adult cast, made up of parents and teachers. Crazy...

Christa is working the "green room". I guess she tells the kids when to go on or something. With tons of kids waiting to go on, I understand it is quite hectic. Especially some of the young ones who don't wait so well.

No monkey pics to post yet!

- Greg
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Wed, 22 Feb 2006

Spinal Day
Today Nate has a spinal. It's not his last spinal. However, it is his last spinal that will put chemo into his cranial spinal fluid. After this one, we stop bathing his brain in methotrexate. There will be a few more spinals, but they'll be just for testing for leukemia cells. After today's procedure, all he'll get is his usual daily and weekly oral chemo medicines. Exciting and scary.

- Greg
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Mon, 13 Feb 2006

AJ's birthday pics are online!
I put up Andrew's birthday pictures. Check them out
here .

Well, we've made it through the day without requiring any medical attention... Now let's see if we can make it through the night.

- Greg
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Sun, 12 Feb 2006

Counts are good, getting antibiotics, coming home
Christa took Nate up to Stanford Medical Center ER about 5:30pm. His labwork came back and his neutrophil count is good (ANC of 4000 or so). It's now 9pm, and they're waiting to get a shot of antibiotics. It sounds like this is a one-time deal, and he won't have to take his Augmentin over the next 10 days.

At least they don't have to stay. Maybe we'll even all get healthy sometime.

- Greg
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Uggghh. Fever, again? Of course we should be so lucky.
Crap. We've got a reading of 100.8 from Nate. If we get a second reading of greater than 100.3 an hour after the first, that means we're paging the oncologist. And, it usually means an ER trip for blood counts.

- Greg
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Ahhh... nap time.
Well, it's Sunday. A week since we got out of the hospital. What's happened in a week? Let's see....

Nate spiked a fever Monday afternoon, I came home from work, hauled him to clinic, they took blood and did labs, and we got sent home since his ANC was 1200. Wednesday Nate has his usual weekly labs. Wednesday afternoon Andrew woke up from nap crying and crying, finally telling Christa that his ear hurt. Wed. night we took him to the "after hours" pediatric clinic, and found out he has an ear infection. The treatment? Give pain meds for a few days, and if he gets over it, then we're good. If he's still hurting, start antibiotics. Nate's blood counts were good, so he resumed his oral chemo starting Thursday night. I started feeling like I was having allergy problems Friday, but it appears that I've caught a cold. I don't feel too bad, but have a runny nose, watery eyes. This morning at 5:30am Nate came into our room complaining of an ear-ache. So, off to the urgent care center he went (when they opened), and he has an ear infection also, so he started antibiotics (he can't "tough it out" because of his suppressed immune system). Andrew has been sneezing and blowing his nose. Probably the cold I have. But, he's in a good mood and acting pretty well, otherwise. Nate ate very little so far today, and when faced with taking his antibiotics, promptly worked himself up and threw up. I guess one more pill was the straw to break that camel's back. Then he laid down and fell asleep.

So, right now Becca & Nate are napping, Christa has Andrew off to the movie store, and I'm trying to get some work stuff done. Oh, and of course, keep our loyal readers up to date.

Thanks for reading, hope you and your family are well.

- Greg
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Sun, 05 Feb 2006

We've busted out!
Nate and I busted out. We headed home this afternoon. Hopefully his fever won't rise above the magic threshold that qualifies for a trip to the hospital. His blood labs this morning showed his ANC at 480, and counting in the monocytes, meant he was on his way up for immune strength. And, he hadn't had much of a fever since last night. Dr. Marina sent us packing. Of course, if he breaks the 100.4F temperature range, then we might end up heading back. Let's keep our fingers crossed. Oh, and Dr. Marina said no school until we get lab results Wednesday, so Thursday at the earliest. Christa is bummed, because they've been talking up the 100th day of school for Wednesday, and Nate will probably be really dissapointed.

Christa took Andrew to the doctor today (since he'd had about 4 days of fever), and they said, yep, he's sick. He has a cold or something. We're guessing it's the same RSV that Nate has.

I thought I'd mention a little bit about why Nate had to be hospitalized. Treating Nate's leukemia means killing white blood cells. This causes his immune system to be suppressed. Two weeks ago he had injections of vincristine and also took dexamethasone for a week. This was in addition to the mercaptopurine he takes daily and the methotrexate he takes weekly. Well, the chemo caused his blood counts to dive. His hemoglobin (measure of red blood cells) dropped below 10.0 for the first time in a year and a half (below 8.0 means it's time for a transfusion). His platelets dropped (but were still in a normal range), and his white blood cells dropped significantly, dropping below 1000. He had an ANC number of 400. Anything below 500 signifies neutropenia, a situation where the body can't fight infection on it's own. So, when he started running a fever, and because he was neutropenic, that meant that IV antibiotics had to be started right away as a precaution. If he happened to have a bacterial infection, it could become systemic and cause
sepsis in a rapid period of time (hours). This can be fatal. Over the last 3 days, every time Nate's fever ran above 101.3 or so, the phlobotomist would be called to take a fresh blood sample to run a blood culture (to detect bacterial infection in the blood). Even though he was given IV antibiotics the whole time. So, our poor little buddy has been stuck a bunch of times. The good news was that he only needed a single IV (it worked the whole time), and it only took 2 tries to put that one in.

Keep your fingers crossed or say a prayer for us. Hopefully the whole family can get better quickly. Oh, and thanks to Sabine and family, Kristen and family and Cheryl and family for loaning GameBoy games and other activities for the hospital stay.

- Greg
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Sat, 04 Feb 2006

Nate's in the Big House
Well, we didn't make it. I was hoping we'd make it through the entire treatment without requiring a hospital stay for F&N (Fever & Neutropenia). Well, Thursday morning we got a phone call from Lynn saying that Nate's labs were back and that he was neutropenic. I had already dropped him off at school so he could go on a field trip to the planetarium. Well, as luck would have it, Thurs. afternoon he started running a fever. That's an automatic trip to the hospital for more labwork. And, he was still neutropenic, so he was admitted to start immediate IV antibiotics. He's in room 2331 (2 North, the oncology ward) at Lucille Packard Children's Hospital at Stanford Medical Center. He's got a nice single isolation room, since he tested positive for
RSV. Sounds like he's going to be there until tomorrow, at least. We're watching his neutrophil count, but it's not coming up too fast.

Christa and I are taking turns at the hospital (one night each, so far), and we did the switch yesterday in the parking lot. Andrew is sick (he's been running a fever and coughing like mad), probably with the same RSV that Nate has. He's been coughing lots and waking up, too. Becca is still a little sniffly, so maybe they all have the same crud. Who knows.

Some of our very nice friends from Nate's school are letting him borrow Game Boy games, etc. It's hard passing all that time in the hospital.

Take care, I'll update when I can. The silly hospital still doesn't have internet access for us, beyond a single public-access computer!

- Greg
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Sun, 22 Jan 2006

2 Years and Counting
Two years ago today, the doctor told us that Nate has cancer. Two years. Wow. And now, he has a short six months of treatment left. That's only 26 more blood draws at the lab, only 195 more methotrexate pills and only 312 more mercaptopurine pills. And, I believe, only one more spinal tap with methotrexate into his cranial spinal fluid.

Nate is currently in the middle of a steroid pulse... 7 days of dexamethasone. He's managing well. Maybe, because he's older, he can manage his emotions better. Or maybe he tolerates it better. He's definately a little hyped-up and less focused. He's a little obsessed about playing Yi-Gi-Oh cards, and that's getting annoying for us. But, in all, he's doing well. He had an injection of vincristine on Thursday, and will have another on the 26th. He'll finish his steroids then, and I don't believe he'll have to take any more from that point. Thank goodness.

Saturday is Andrew's 3rd birthday. He's getting to be such a big boy. I asked him how old he was gonna be on his birthday. He gave me a sly look and said "twelve or something". He's very funny.

Becca is all over the place. She is learning quickly from her brothers, and does quite a nice job of pouting. My little actress.

Take care, I hope to update with pics from Andrew's bday soon.

- Greg
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Sun, 25 Dec 2005

Christmas Eve
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except for my computer mouse... Here it is, Christmas Eve, I'm sitting up waiting for Santa, so what better time to write an update.

We're staying home for Christmas, taking it easy for the holiday. The kids have been very excited, having a hard time containing themselves. Just a few short hours and the whole Christmas carnage will be over. We went a bought some more organizing buckets from Ikea in anticipation of the wave of new toys.

The kids have some sniffles and coughs, and Nate has been nursing a cough since just after Turkey Day. Well, this last week it developed into pneumonia so he's been on antibiotics. Luckily he's on break, so he won't miss any school. I'm hoping that he'll get over the whole thing soon. It's hard, because they've been so full of energy, yet running around outside just starts the coughing fits.

Becca is walking all over the place now. She even walks part way around the block, when you can get her to leave the occasional cat or flower alone. She's a real crackup, and is starting to say quite a few words (although we're probably the only people who understand what she's saying ;-) ).

Last weekend we were up at Nana & Papa's house, along with all my sisters and their families. All 10 grandkids were together, and had a great time, as usual. Several of them were either getting over being sick, or just starting, so we're lucky if all we get out of it was some sniffles. Madie & Boby joined us there, also, so they got to enjoy some of the Doane Family Christmas Choas.

As usual, we're behind on our Christmas cards, so we'll get those "New Year's" cards out soon.

Merry Christmas,

- Greg
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Thu, 17 Nov 2005

Mid November Update
Just thought I'd do a quick update. All is good. Becca is finally starting to do some walking. She gets very silly, though, and starts to laugh, or dive towards us, or whatever. She's crazy, but funny. She is doing great with her sign language. Tonight she was sitting in her high chair, and asking for "more cookies" in sign language. She definately gets her point across.

Andrew took us all to his pre-school last Saturday. We had fun checking out his school, and he showed off his toys. We all participated in circle time, which was a lot of fun. He has a great teacher, whose son Jackson happens to be in Nate's kindergarten class.

And Nate is doing well. Things are on track, he's been well. He has been having trouble lately with his weekly blood draws, and Christa said today it took a long time to get him settled down for it. We're not sure what's going on with that. He's been doing them every week for well over a year with no troubles. Just lately he seems to be afraid of them, and starts stressing out.

The big news here is that Sunday afternoon, the Make-A-Wish people will be hear to meet with Nate, and find out if they can grant his wish. He's not sure, though, what to wish for. He said he's nervous he'll wish for the wrong thing. What a nice problem to have.

Take care,

- Greg
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Mon, 17 Oct 2005

Nate's Birthday Pictures are up.
The birthday pictures are
here.

Hi everyone. Nate had a good 6th birthday. We went to the pumpkin patch on his birthday, and picked out the great pumpkin to bring home. It's now time for the rule: You can have it if you can carry it. Nana went with us over to Half Moon Bay. It was a great day on the 8th.

The 9th wasn't so fun. Our next door neighbor died after a fight with cancer. He was much too young, and I think his wife, Mary Beth, and kids (13 and 12 years old) were surprised by how quickly he went. I have known Mary Beth since I was a small child, when she used to babysit for my parents. They are really nice people, and this is tragic.

Nate was sad to find out about Bob dying. This was the first person that he knows that has died of cancer. I think he's getting old enough to start to understand the scope of cancer. Well, about 10:30 that night Nate woke up having a hard time breathing. He was very scared, crying, and working hard to breath. He kept crying out "am I gonna die?". We tried to calm him down, since the stress was only making things worse. We decided to err on the side of caution, so we called 911. Nothing like a big fire truck and ambulance in a small court like ours to get people outside. The paramedics checked him out, and determined his lungs were clear, but that he was having trouble with his airways in his throat. Basically, it was a case of croup.

Since we already had the ambulance here, we decided to go for a ride. After a few hours in the El Camino Hospital ER, a couple of breathing treatments, and a couple shots of dexamethasone to the butt, and Nate was doing much better. We headed home about 2:30am. Our other next door neighbors were so kind to drop off my truck at the hospital so Nate and I could just drive home. That was enough excitement for one day.

Now on to fun stuff.. We had Nate's birthday parties (one with friends, one with family) yesterday, and it went very well. Some of his kindergarten and other friends came, had cake, opened presents, jumped on the trampoline, and just had a great birthday party.

Enough for tonight. Good night and take care.

- Greg
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Fri, 07 Oct 2005

Someone's birthday is coming up
Tomorrow is Nate's 6th birthday. Wish him well.

- Greg
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Wed, 05 Oct 2005

Can you say VZIG ???
Turns out they managed to find a dose at Stanford yesterday. So last night we took Nate to the day hospital, and he had the lovely experience of a shot into each thigh muscle. Two nurses, one shot each, simultaneously. He wasn't happy, but he recovered well.

Let's just hope that does the trick.

- Greg


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Tue, 04 Oct 2005

Crapola....
Yeah... so, here we are, in the middle of Hell Week (this is a steroid week for Nate, and he's exhibited some 'roid rage) and we get a call from a school mate's mom saying that Nate was exposed to chicken pox this weekend. Such an ordinary childhood illness. And yet very seriuos for leukemic kids.

So, after talking to Nate's nurse practitioner, she says to come in right away and they'll administer VZIG injections into each thigh. This is an immune booster for varicella zoster (aka Chiken Pox virus). Then she calls back and says she talked to the pharmacy and they don't have any at Stanford. It takes 24 hours to get it (something about the pharmacy not stocking it anymore). And so, instead, we should just do nothing and keep an eye on Nate. I'm not happy with that answer. If they had it, they would give it to him. So, maybe we should be trying to get it from somewhere else? I'm now waiting for a call back to discuss this more...

- Greg


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Wed, 07 Sep 2005

Yahoo! : Becca turns 1, School Starts and Camp Okizu
Becca is now 1 year old. She had a nice party here at the house, ate lots of cake, and generally was the life of the party. All the cousins were here (and the auntie's and uncles!), along with grandparents. She sure loved that cake. She's been crawling for a while now, and she's gonna walk pretty soon. Her 1 year checkup showed her to be very average in size... right at the 50% mark in height and weight. She's getting big, but she's still our little baby.

Nate started kindergarten last week. He's now in elementary school. What a big guy. He seems to like it so far. He's only missed one day so far, for a scheduled spinal tap w/ chemo. Back in the end of July, beginning of August, he had 2 weeks off chemo because he was neutropenic. His protocol says to drop the Septra, so we have. Now, he get's a once-a-month breathing treatment at the hospital with pentamidine, instead of the Septra. It's kind of nice we don't have to remember to give him the Septra 3 days a week. Hopefully his counts will stay up now. He has less than a year to go!

Andrew started pre-school this last week. He's in a 2's class, and a parent has to work in the classroom. He only goes once a week, but he'll have a great time. His very nice teacher is no stranger, as she has a son in Nate's kindergarten class.

We spent the Labor Day weekend up at
Camp Okizu. What a great bunch of people they are. The counselors are all great with the kids. We left Becca w/ Nana and Papa, so we didn't have to worry about her. The boys went canoeing, did some archery, the ropes course, games and lots of carpetball. It was a lot of fun to watch Nate go down the zip line on the ropes course, with no fear. And then we were amazed that Andrew did it also, all by himself. Snug in his harness, he sailed across the creek hanging from the cable. How's that for a 2 year old!

And finally, I've started a new job. I'm the engineering manager for the Yahoo! Avatars team. I know, I know... I sold out. A management job. What a waste of a good engineer, or something like that. If you use instant messenger, please use Yahoo! IM. If you use it, create an avatar. You can go to the Yahoo! Avatars page .

- Greg

Yahoo! Avatars
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Sat, 30 Jul 2005

Off chemo again, and a great anniversary getaway.
Nate is off chemo for a week, again. He was neutropenic on his blood test Wednesday, so we withhold chemo for the week. That generally gives him time for his neutrophils to recover. This is the second time in a month, a little bit troubling. It could be because he has a virus, could be because his bone marrow is "tired".

Last weekend Christa and I snuck away for our anniversary. It marked 11 years of marriage. Auntie Reggie came with her daughters Missy & Meghan, and they watched our three little ones. Christa and I snuck away to San Francisco for the weekend, and had a great time. Thank you Auntie.

Well, Christa and I are off to donate blood. And we have a party to go to this afternoon.

Take care, all.

- Greg
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Tue, 12 Jul 2005

House O' Sickness
Well, here we are in the middle of summer and everybody here is sick. Let's run through the last few weeks.

Two weeks ago Nate's labs had an ANC reading of 470, indicating neutropenia (a very week immune system). So, he had a week without his oral chemo. This was right before the weekend of the 4th. Rebecca came down with a cold and was feeling bad perfect timing, so we decided that I would take the boys up to Nana & Papa's for the 4th, and if Becca did better, Christa would drive up and join us. And that's what we did. We headed up Saturday evening and the boys were excited to see all of their cousins. Complete pandemonium it was. Christa said Becca was much better on Sunday, so she drove up in the morning and joined us. That was great.

The kids swam in the pool at the clubhouse, they swam in the lake, paddled kayaks around (Papa just bought 2 kayaks), had a great time. We all watched the fireworks on Monday night sitting on the grass down at the park where they shoot the fireworks over the lake. Lots of fun. Tuesday the 5th we headed home. Christa left w/ Becca in the morning, and I took the boys in the afternoon. Of course, by this point, the boys were starting to catch the cold. Andrew was barking, and you could hear it in Nate's voice. After dropping something at my sister's house in Tracy, Andrew then promptly threw up the french fries and milkshake (yeah, I might win Father of the Year award for that stellar meal) all over himself. So, there were are on the side of the freeway, with the wind whipping by us, and I'm trying in vain to clean some of it up. It was nasty.

So, the kids were sick during the week, and we all hung out at home. We had a camping trip planned for the 11th -> 13th with our friends, the Sipes. Jeff and I were gonna take our kids camping, minus the babies. Yeah.... so... Saturday night I woke up with a fever. Felt like crap. All day Sunday I felt bad, running a fever. The boys still had barking coughs, that sort of thing. We called off the trip for sure today, since I'm still running a fever. It's lower now, but I still feel cruddy. I guess I have the flu. In July. That sucks. Oh, and to top it off, Christa was sick last night too, we think it was something she ate. She is much better today, but she was seriously out of commission last night.

When it rains it pours. Take care.

- Greg
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Tue, 21 Jun 2005

Happy Birthday Christa!
Today is my lovely wife's birthday. It's also the day of our summer solstice. Coincidence? I think not.

I've been remiss in updating the website. It's been more than 2 whole months. All sorts of stuff has happened. Lots of birthdays, including Christa's mom's 60th. That was a big party in Folsom. I had a birthday, and even snuck out with some buddies to dinner and drinks. Nate graduated from pre-school. Sort of. He missed the last days, because he and I took a
trip to Kodiak, Alaska! The boys started at a new swim center, and they're both doing great. Rebecca is now 9 months old, and such a little cutie. Andrew has just learned to ride the tricycle, and he's having a grand time with that. My little software company was almost acquired by a bigger company, but that fell through. So, now I'm looking for a job, and enjoying the summer so far. And Nate just had a spinal and a week of his steroid.

On the Nate front, he's doing well. Everything is according to plan. On the June 9th, he had a lumbar puncture to inject chemo into his spinal fluid. He also had an injection of vincristine, and started a week of dexamethasone, his nasty steroid. I spent a lot of time giving Nate lots of attention to manage his moods. The steroid makes him crazy. Madie came down and stayed with us, and that was very nice. Thursday, June 16th, Nate finished the steroid, and had another injection of vincristine. His IV went well, he only did a little freaking out. Of course, he was overly sensitive because of the dex, but he did very well. That night, Christa and I snuck out to a late movie while the kids slept and Madie kept watch. Thank you Madie! Nate has now come down off the steroid, and is closer to normal. He's had some issues in the morning, a little vomiting and some headaches, but he's getting better. It's probably all due to the steroid. He perks up after a Zofran and some food, and then does well the rest of the day.

Well, that's it for now. I'm gonna try and clean up the house while Christa has the boys at the park, and Becca is still sleeping here.

- Greg
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Mon, 04 Apr 2005

Happy April
Here were are, April 4th, and it's been almost a month since I wrote an update. Life has not been boring, and the kids have been keeping us busy. In that last month we began spring, there's been one scheduled clinic visit for chemo, one unscheduled trip to the ER, 3 kids with fevers, and Nate is now wandering around toothless (he's now lost both of his top front teeth). Read on for more details.

My last update said Nate was neutropenic. Well, he recovered the following week (a week off chemo helps), and so he had his spinal tap on March 17th for chemo to the cerebral spinal fluid. Funny thing was I ran into someone I know in the recovery room. Her son had just had his tonsils out. Either it's a small world, or we spend too much time at LPCH.

We headed up to Christa's mom's house near Sacramento for Easter weekend. We got there in the evening, the kids were very excited, everything was good. We put them to bed, played a little cards and visited. About 2:30 am Saturday morning, Nate woke up crying saying he didn't feel good. Sure enough, he had a 100.3F temp. So, he slept in bed with me, and Christa went and slept in the other room with Andrew. About 4:30 I took Nate's temp again, and this time it was 102.4F so I woke up the on-call oncologist. On the prior Wednesday, Nate's ANC was about 1000. But, the doctor wanted new labs, so that meant we were heading for an ER. We decided UC Davis Medical Center in Sacramento was a better choice than a local ER, so he was nice enough to look up a phone number for me. By this time, Bob & Madie were awake, as was Christa. So, Bob went with Nate and I to Sacramento. We were quickly brought into a room after seeing the triage nurse, which was good considering the waiting room was packed. They have a nice separate pediatric ER. The nurse had some EMLA for Nate, to prepare him for the stick. We never mentioned he was getting an IV to him, so he was pretty good about the needle stick. After she was already in, and getting blood, he noticed it wasn't normal phlobotomy needle in his arm, so he started to get very concerned, asking "am I going to get an IV?". She told him "honey, you already have one". This was the best IV stick in quite a while. After the usual wait for labs, his ANC came back at about 10,000. So, after conferring with Nate's oncologist, they decided he could go home, and tough it out the old fashioned way, taking Tylenol and lots of fluids and rest.

The rest of Easter went ok, Nate was obviously not quite himself, but the boys enjoyed the egg hunt. Our original plan was to head to my parents' house on Sunday, but decided against it because Nate was sick. No sense getting everyone else sick, and he'd be better off at home. So, we went home Sunday. Monday afternoon Andrew started with a fever and was obviously sick. Thursday Rebecca ended up with the fever and was sick. Luckily they all recovered within a few days, so that was the silver lining. But, it was a long week.

This coming weekend is the blood drive that Christa organized. Drop us a note if you're in the area and want to donate blood on Saturday.

- Greg
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Thu, 10 Mar 2005

A small delay...
Nate's weekly blood labs show that he's neutropenic. This means his body has almost no infection fighting ability, and puts him at risk for catching bugs. It also means that we don't administer his daily 6-mp chemo, or his weekly oral methotrexate pills this week. As long as his blood counts come back up for next week, he'll get his intrathecal methotrexate next Thursday (St. Patty's day). This is the first time that chemo has been held due to low counts for Nate. I know many other children that have had delays on a very frequent basis.

Rebecca had her 6 mo. checkup this week. All is well. She's about 15 lbs, and I don't recall how many inches. She's tracking at about 25% on height and weight. Obviously she's much smaller than the boys. She had some shots, including a flu shot now that she's 6 months old. She's had a low fever since, so maybe she's suffering the effects of the vaccine.

We're enjoying beautiful weather here... hope all is well with you.

- Greg
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Mon, 07 Mar 2005

First teeth
Rebecca has her bottom two teeth breaking through. You can see and feel them now. We're lucky she's actually a very good baby. She seems to have been sleeping less during the day recently, but we're not sure if that is a change in her schedule or just because she was getting teeth. She also has been suffering some cold symptoms, which is not surprising considering Andrew has another cold. Our house has been germ central for the last 2 months. I think we've had continuous colds for that long.

Andrew started a pre-school type class (sort of a Mommy & Me class, where Christa hangs out with him at the class) last week. He missed out today because he's fighting a cold. And, he loves his little sister so much that she's bound to catch whatever he has.

The weather was beautiful this weekend, and I had the pleasure of being invited to "special persons day" at Nate's preschool. Saturday morning we went to school for a while. It was nice. And yesterday I had the 2 boys helping me change the oil in the truck. Lots of fun. Andrew kind of lost interest after bumping his head a few too many times under the truck. Instead they ended up playing in the truck while I did the oil change. Later AJ, Nate and I had a watergun fight in the back yard. It was nice to be outside with some sunny weather.

Nate did fine at getting his blood draw last week for labs. After 2 weeks of bad experiences with IV's, we were a little worried he'd be stressing. But, he just sails through the blood draws. Next week he'll be having a spinal tap for chemo into his spinal fluid on St. Patrick's day. He'll be getting an IV for that, but hopefully he can remain calm for that. The IV can go into the crook of his arm, so that is good. The last couple IV's had to be into hands or feet for the chemo, and so that break from his usual pattern just adds stress. After this spinal, no more procedures until the beginning of June. We'll just keep up his daily and weekly oral chemo.

- Greg
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Wed, 23 Feb 2005

Only 2 doses left this round...
Well, Nate has 12 doses of steroid in him, and 2 left to go. Tonight, and tomorrow morning, and he'll be done with the dexamethasone for the next 16 weeks. I'm back to calling him Senor Loco. He is "amplified". His excitement can be excessive, his neediness is excessive, and his anger can be nasty. Poor Andrew takes a lot of the brunt of that. Of course, he does things just to agitate Nate, so I guess it is expected. Nana & Papa came down on the weekend, and Nana is staying with us through this week. It's a big help. And, she is getting lots of good time with Rebecca, while Christa tries to keep the boys happy. We all got to watch Nate eating half of a tray of shrimp cocktail at 9am the other day, so at least we provide entertainment for our guests.

We got some good news today. Nate will be going to Washington Open, the elementary school in Santa Clara that we were trying to get into. It's a public school, but has more applicants for kindergarten than open spots, so they run a lottery for those openings. At least that clears up one uncertainty for the next year. I guess I'll have to start thinking about how elementary school and leukemia will work together.

- Greg
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Tue, 08 Feb 2005

I forgot to update...
Last week's trip to the ER ended with Nate's ANC being about 5500 (which is nice and high for him), so we got sent home (at almost 4am). His fever was gone by the end of Tuesday, but he had some sniffles and a bit of a cough through the rest of the week. So, all those pokes just to draw a bit of blood. Next time we're going to manage it better, more proactively. If Nate is running a low-grade fever during he day and we don't have current labs, we'll take him in for those labs during the day. That way we'll know his counts, and it's more likely we'll get to stay home and miss the ER.

Christa was fighting some cold symptoms last week, but didn't seem to get hit too hard. Friday night I started coming down with a cold. It hit me hard Saturday and Sunday. I'm feeling somewhat better today, but now Andrew has the drippy nose. Poor little buddy has bright red cheeks from wiping his face across his sleeve. I came up with a product idea. How about tissue sleeves, that go over the forearm on a shirt. The little kids wipe their noses with their sleeve anyways, so this way you put the tissue on there, tear it off when it needs changing, and put on a new one. Product names? How about Green Sleeves? Or Booger Sleeves?

- Greg
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Tue, 01 Feb 2005

Almost 1am and we're not enjoying the ER
It's almost 1am, and we're not enjoying the ER. Nate was running a fever today, not enough to land us in clinic. This evening, his fever went up above the magic 101 point, and that earned us a ticket straight to the ER. Of course, once here, we got to wait a while. We did get our own private room, eventually. However, poor Nate was quite the pin-cushion, as the nurses tried to get an IV into him. Right arm, left hand, left arm, and finally, the winner, the left foot. Poor buddy. At least we came up with a joke about it later:

Q: What has more holes in it than a slice of swiss cheese?

A: Nate!

Hopefully his blood counts come back good, and we simply get to add Tylenol, and go home. If he's neutropenic, that might earn us a stay at Lucy's Hyatt (Lucille Packard Children's Hospital). I'm pretty sure his ANC will be fine, so we'll end up going home. We'll see.

- Greg
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Fri, 28 Jan 2005

Happy Birthday Andrew!!!!
Today is Andrew's 2nd birthday. We're not at home, we're off having fun, so I'm not actually typing this on his birthday. Instead, we're up at Nana & Papa's house, and we're going to play in the snow in the Sierras today.

For the last couple weeks, we kept asking Andrew what he wanted for his birthday. He always answered "cake". Nana is baking a cake, so he gets to chow down on that.

The boys have mostly recovered from their cough/cold/fever ailment. Poor grandma couldn't withstand the germs, so she's at home having a tough time of it. She's asthmatic, so it causes her a lot of trouble when she catches something. I guess she's been coughing something fierce, and her doctors have her on steroids (oh joy!) and some strong cough medicine. We're really hoping she gets well soon.

This birthday is far happier than last year. Andrew turned 1 only 6 days following Nate's diagnosis. Andrew stayed at home with Nana, Papa, Grandma and Grandpa Bob. Christa and I spent all day at the hospital with Nate for chemo. We got home, I carried Nate to bed, and it was early enough for us to have cake with Andrew. Luckily he won't remember that first birthday. We always will.

- Greg
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Wed, 19 Jan 2005

A Sigh of Relief
Can you hear our big sigh of relief? Yesterday Nate had a spinal recheck after his oncologist saw a "suspicious cell" on a slide of his spinal fluid from last month. Leukemia will relapse, either in the bone marrow, or in the CSF (cranial spinal fluid). We've been on edge for the last month, so this is a huge relief.

Of course, life can't be that easy... last night Nate started running a fever (he had developed a cough the day before), and now today Andrew is running a fever. I was on the phone with the on-call oncologist last night at 3am, and since Nate's counts are good, we got to stay home and tough it out.

We'll see if Christa, Rebecca or I catch it. Oh, and since Christa's mom has been staying the week with us, we'll see if Grandma can withstand the germ assault.

Tonight, we drink.

- Greg
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Wed, 12 Jan 2005

Happy New Year
Today is the first entry I've made in 2 months. I'd like to wish everyone a happy new year, and hope your holiday season went well. We had a great time. Rebecca is now 4 months old, Andrew is 2 weeks shy of his second birthday, and Nate is 5, coming up on his 1 year anniversary of fighting cancer. Wow. Amazing.

The kids are good, Rebecca had her 4 month checkup and she's right at an average length and weight. It's different for us, since the boys have always been big.

I'm updating our family picture here because it's way too old, it shows Nate when he was bald (which he definately is not), and it's missing Rebecca.

Nate's treatments continue. On the 21st of December he had a spinal for intrathecal chemo and to check the spinal fluid for leukemia cells. On the 23rd, his nurse called and said that the pathologist didn't see anything, but that Dr. Marina saw a "suspicious cell" and so he needs a re-check in a month. She said this happens all the time, don't worry about it and have a Merry Christmas. So, needless to say, we've been a little worried the last month. Next Tuesday he'll have his re-check, and we'll find out what's up. Please keep Nate in your thoughts. Last week his labs showed his blood counts dropped, and that just added to our worry. Today's labs showed those came back up a little, so it's probably nothing... but the worry never, ever leaves.

Christa is amazing as usual, she has been helping as an interviewer for the pre-school. Nate's teacher left, and they've been interviewing candidates and selecting a new teacher. Sounds like they had a tough decision between some good candidates.

Take care,

- Greg
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Mon, 08 Nov 2004

Mr Hyde has left the building.
We did it... we survived a week of steroid hell. The one-week steroid "pulse" finished on Thursday, and this weekend we saw our son return. He was able to concentrate, actually play by himself for a while, sleep a little better, and generally feel better. He's still kind of hyper, but maybe that's because he feels better, I don't know. Or, maybe because the dexamethasone is still slowly metabolizing... Next hell week is in the middle of February. Can't wait.

We spent some time this weekend reorganizing in the house. We decided we really had to move Rebecca out of our room, and we really wanted to keep the guest room just that. So, Andrew officially moved into Nate's room (now it is "their" room.). They are getting used to it. Bed time isn't as smooth as it used to be, but they'll get better at it. We had to move a bunch of toys out of the room, shuffle the furniture around a bit, but now there are 2 race car beds (one big, one little) in there. Andrew is so funnny... I point to his little bed and ask who's bed is that, and he has a big smile and says "me!".

Rebecca is now sleeping in the "baby" room, which was formerly Andrew's. She spent her first night there last night, and did fine. She didn't wake up until about 4 or 5 this morning, so that was great. Hopefully she'll settle in there nicely.

Christa is doing an amazing job juggling these kids... last week was all messed up because of Nate's demanding steroid personality, but she manages very well. She found someone to come help out with the boys some. His name is Tony, and he's a junior college student that works as a camp counselor for kids with disabilities or something like that. she's going to have him come help with the boys a few times a week so that she can manage more stuff.

I still need to put some photos up here, but that'll have to be a different time.

Take care,

- Greg
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Fri, 22 Oct 2004

I can't believe it's been almost a month
I can't believe it's been almost a month since my last message here. Lots of activity during that time. First of all, Rebecca is now 7 weeks old, and doing well. She's gaining weight and getting bigger. Her 2 month checkup will be coming up at the beginning of November.

Andrew is doing well, running around busy trying to do everything that his big brother does. I think he's 21 months old now, and he has a ton of words. He get's his ideas across well. Yesterday he was busy telling me to "come on ... play". He wanted me to follow him into the other room to play with toys.

Nate is doing pretty well. On October 8th, he turned 5 years old. I'm so thankful for that. I keep suppressing the thought that he would not have seen his 5th birthday without his treatment. On Nate's birthday I took the day off work and we headed over to Half Moon Bay for our annual pumpkin trip. The weather was beautiful as usual, and I'll post the pictures sometime soon.

Nate did come down with a fever on Sunday, the 17th, about 2:30 in the morning. That required a trip up to the Stanford ER to get blood counts and blood cultures. Luckily his immune system was responding well enough that we were able to go home and avoid being admitted for a hospital stay. His fever came back down, and was gone the next day, so it was probably a virus. But, as usual, it was no fun.

Take care,

- Greg
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Mon, 27 Sep 2004

Sleep Deprivation
Rebecca sure likes to be awake a lot. Several feedings a night, and then she doesn't go back to sleep very well. Either we have to hold her for 45 minutes, which turns a feeding into a couple hour process, or she lays in bed with us. Neither option is great, so we're using them both. Christa is amazing, she's holding up very very well.

The boys really like Rebecca. Andrew is always asking for "baby, baby". And Nate is calling her "sister", as in "where's sister?". They're all very cute together. We have to be careful with Andrew around the baby, since he'll try and touch her face sometimes. This morning he was hilarious. He'd move his face close to her hand until her hand bumped his nose, and then he'd say "pop", pull back his head and start laughing.

We're having fun, even with all the work. Nate is back in pre-school, so that get's him out of the house a little bit (3 afternoons per week). Andrew is talking like mad, not very big sentences, but enough to get his ideas across. Rebecca is cute as a button, and is an angel as long as she is held. Actually, she does pretty well otherwise, also. We're just can't wait for a couple of long blocks of sleep at night. That'll make life a lot easier for mom & dad.

Nate's treatment is going exactly according to plan. That is good. Surprises are no good. In maintenance, his 6-mp was increased by 50% in dosage, and he seems to be tolerating it fine. His counts have been right in the target range. His oncologist wants his ANC between 750 and 1500, and that's where he's at (last week was 1250 or so). If his ANC is too high for enough weeks, they'll increase his chemo dosage. If it's too low for enough weeks, then they'll decrease dosage. Also, on a week-by-week basis, if his counts show he's neutropenic (ANC < 500) then we'll hold daily 6-mp dose until his immune system regains strength. So far we haven't had this trouble.

Both boys are in swim lessons and they're really enjoying that. Saturday I took them both down there. Nate got into the pool in his class, and then Andrew and I got in for Andrew's class. It's fun being in there with Andrew, and Nate is in a different corner of the pool so I can watch him and wave. This is a great part about having Nate's central line out... he can do the swimming. If he get's neutropenic, however, I'll keep him out of the public pool. It's not smart exposing him to too many germs then.

Christa is doing a fabulous job with the baby. I'm trying to help around the house the best I can, and relieve Christa from her duty to the baby as much as possible, also. Rebecca will be 4 weeks old tomorrow, so hopefully by the end of her second month she'll be sleeping a lot better. Both of the boys had been sleeping through the night by the end of the second month. We'll see.

Take care, - Greg
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Mon, 13 Sep 2004

Rebecca is almost 2 weeks old, and Nate started Continuation
Rebecca is almost 2 weeks old. I'm done having fun with the family, and heading back to work today. Poor Christa, talk about having your hands full. 3 kids under the age of 5. Wow. We're getting lots of help, since she needs 6 - 8 weeks of recovery from the c-section to heal fully. That means she can't lift Andrew, our 19 month old moose of a son. Many, many, many thanks to Christa's mom Madie, and Bob, and my parents Doug and Judy. They're doing tours of duty for the next few weeks to help us out.

A week and a half ago, Nate officially started the Continuation phase of his treatment protocol, often called the "long term maintenance" phase. This phase will run for 96 weeks. Yeah, almost 2 years. What is different about this phase? Well, he'll get lumbar punctures (spinal taps) where methotrexate chemo is injected into his spine only every 12 weeks now, rather than every 3 weeks. He'll get IV vincristine once a week for 2 weeks on a repeating 16 week cycle. During the vincristine week, he'll be on steroid. Every single week he'll get a blood draw to check his blood counts (CBC with differential & platelet count weekly, and once a month tests for liver & kidney function). Once a week he takes oral methotrexate (six little pills). And, every single night he takes oral 6-mp pills (mercaptopurine). Sounds like a walk in the park, right?

Take care,

- Greg
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Tue, 31 Aug 2004

Welcome Baby Rebecca
This morning at 7:55am baby Rebecca Doane was born. She was a whopping 7lbs 8oz, and 19.5 inches long. She's beautiful, with just a little bit of light, thin hair. She was delivered by c-section at El Camino Hospital in Mountain View, California.

Christa came through the surgery just fine. She's such a trooper. Afterwards she was feeling good, but a little nausea set in later.

Christa's mom Madie, and my mom Judy were down to see the baby brought into the nursery. Our boys will be down to visit us in a little while, so we'll see what they think of their new baby sister.

I put some pictures up at this
link.

We expect mom & baby to come home on Saturday.

Take care,

- Greg
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Sun, 22 Aug 2004

The tubes are gone!
Friday Nate had surgery and had his central line removed. That's a good thing. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean we're done with chemo. 31 weeks of treatment are done, 99 more weeks to go.

He was doing a little too much today, whacking the treat with a stick jumping around, acting just like a 4 year old boy. His wound bled a little, but nothing significant. Supposedly he can get wet at 48 hours post surgery, so I think I'll give him a shower tomorrow evening. He might end up truly clean for the first time in six months. Forget those sponge baths. Let's get back to the real thing.

We signed both boys up for swim lessons, starting in a few weeks. I've been taking Andrew this summer on Saturday mornings for a swim lesson. Nate tagged along to one, but ended up having a hard time. He really wanted to be able to swim, too. Pretty soon, and he can swim again. No more risk of infection from the central line.

Andrew seems to be fighting a little cold right now. Kind of sniffly and sounded a bit congested tonight. Hopefully he'll get over it quickly. And hopefully Nate won't get it.

Christa is tired of being pregnant. Soon, very soon, she'll be done. Another week and a half, and we'll have the new baby.


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Sat, 14 Aug 2004

Long day yesterday but good results.
Nate had an LP, a BMA and a 4 hr. IV methotrexate infusion yesterday. A long day at the hospital, for sure. The LP & BMA were clear. I'm always a little nervous about those. So, Nate's Dr informed him that his tubes have to come out. He pretty well freaked out about that, lots of screaming and crying. He's been telling us that he's not going to have them out until he's all done with leukemia, when he's almost 7. I can't wait to get those out, but of course we'll have some conditioning to go through to get used to getting stuck with a needle. A normal bath, going swimming, being able to get dressed without those stupid tubes sure sounds nice to me. Surgery is scheduled for a week from today (8/20) to yank 'em out.

Nate will enter long term maintenance in a couple weeks, starting oral methotrexate pills, and increasing his 6MP dosage. His LPs will be every 12 weeks, and he'll have a steroid pulse with vincristine every 16 weeks. Kind of exciting.

He did have one thing in labs yesterday that was different. His ALT was more than 10 times normal. According to our protocol document, no change to the administration of MTX would occur for the next cycle, but if it continues to stay elevated we might hold MTX. We'll see where that goes to.


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Mon, 09 Aug 2004

Good Weekend Camping
We had a good weekend camping. Nate and I both survived it. He got to fish, climb rocks, pee in the woods, sleep in a tent, and go 4 wheeling. And lots of burping without saying "excuse me". A regular "guys" camping trip.

I'll post more details later, and try and get the pictures up. For now, check out this picture of
Nate sitting on a rock in the water.

- Greg
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Wed, 28 Jul 2004

Mixing the potion...
And, so it begins again. A week of steroid. Nate just had his first dose this afternoon, and we'll have to see when it really kicks in. I expect Mr. Hyde soon...

Today Nate also had a IV push of vincristine, and will get another next Wednesday. His bloodwork today shows he's just barely above the neutropenic level. His numbers from today's blood test:

WBC 1.6 (Normal range 5.5 - 15.5 K/uL)
RBC 3.24 (Normal range 3.90 - 5.30 MIL/uL)
HGB 10.1 (Normal range 11.5 - 13.5 g/dL)
Platelets 289 (Normal range 150-400 K/uL)

ANC 568 (calculated from NRUT % & WBC)

Last week Nate had IV methotrexate, and hauled around the portable IV pump for a couple of days. He got through it without the sickness he had the time before (3 weeks prior). He was quite the happy camper to be unhooked from the pump, and able to run wild.

Over the weekend I spent some time trimming a tree, and also working on the swingset project that I've been neglecting. The metal parts are all painted, we picked up some new bolts, and now I just have to asseble and mount it to the side of the climbing structure. I'll have to put up pics when I finish.

August 6th I'm taking Nate camping (at least I hope so). The annual camping trip I take with some buddies is that weekend, and Nate is gonna tag along. It should be fun. I just hope his ANC recovers a bit, because that is his defense against infection. My friends are prepared that if I have to leave, I'm leaving all my gear where it is. That would be the plan if Nate starts running a fever. Nate will have a grand time, though, throwing rocks in the lake, hiking around the woods, and burning stuff in the campfire. When I took him camping (just the 2 of us) last summer, he had a great time stabbing leaves with a stick and then burning them in the fire.

Now, if I can just find someone to take Andrew for the weekend... Christa would have some much deserved quiet time at home...

Take care,

- Greg
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Thu, 22 Jul 2004

10 Beautiful Years of Marriage
Married since July 22, 1994.

Ten years ago today my bride said " I do " . Christa and I have led a particularly charmed life. We have been together so long that we work so well together, and yet we have our own ideas and identities. Together we are strong.

We have worked hard in our professional lives, lived well with trips and fun. Now, we're in the family stage, raising our children. Together we're leading our son in his fight with cancer. I cannot imagine how I could succeed without her.

Christa is the most considerate, loving person I know. She and I were absolutely destined for each other. She shows her unselfish character in her daily accomplishments raising our children. Our fifteen years together is a testament to our commitment. I will be as devoted in another 50 years as I am today.

This year I can't give her those things many would expect on a 10 year wedding anniversary. She's 7 1/2 months pregnant, so taking a big trip to Hawaii is out. Our son is in the middle of his chemotherapy, and so we will spend our time at home. Fancy jewelry just doesn't say what needs to be said.

What I can offer is this: "I do." And, I love you.

For the whole world to see.

- Greg

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Six Month Anniversary of Diagnosis & A Great Big Thank You
Six months ago today, on January 22nd, 2004, Nate was diagnosed with cancer. What a road it has been.

Doctors, spinal taps, surgeries, cancer drugs, anti-emetics, hospital stays, pills, midnight snacks, hair loss, IV pumps, heparin flushes, dressing changes, fevers, and fear. But here we are.

What else has there been. Family, friends, Legoland, Camp Okizu, toys, water fights, jumping on the bed, gymnastics, archery, pre-school, TV, fireworks, beach trips, little brothers learning to walk, auntie Amy, fire truck rides, fuzzy heads, fun and lots and lots of love. And so we continue on.

26 weeks of treatment are done, 104 weeks of treatment are left. It sounds so far away, but we will settle into the routine. As long as nothing unexpected happens, we can lead a normal life. Our "new" normal.

I would like to thank all of the wonderful family and friends who have helped us out so much. From the countless hours that family has spent watching Andrew, to the chores and shopping and whatever else we've needed, we are forever indebted. To all of our friends that brought so many meals, we can't thank you enough. We love the phone calls, the emails, and the visits. They provide much needed distraction from the circus we call our home. To all of my coworkers who have covered for me, I'm very grateful. To the friends and family who sent so many gifts for Nate, and often Andrew, thank you very much. To those on the ALL-KIDS mailing list, your knowledge has helped us walk through this madness.


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Tue, 20 Jul 2004

Site Redesign
I'm busy re-designing our website. It'll look much nicer when I'm done. There will be no more frames involved in site. And, it'll be much easier to generate new journal entries so that Christa and I can both help keep everyone informed.

Please pardon the broken links for a little while.

- Greg
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Tue, 13 Jul 2004

Update on Nate
Well since our last update, May 29th (website), things have slowly calmed down. The first two weeks of June were still intensive chemo weeks for Nate but he faired pretty well. His immunity and hemoglobin did drop as is common for those drugs. He recieved a transfusion on June 18th, which perked him up again. He was considered nutropenic (low immunity) for one week but the following week his numbers went back up and his hemoglobin has also gone back up, so he has not needed any more transfusions. This was all good news since we had heard that many kids take several weeks to recover from those chemo drugs.

My dad came for a visit the third week of June and we had a nice visit. My Dad got to rest and relax and spend time with the boys. We went to San Francisco and saw the sights in a Big Red Fire Truck. It was cool to go across the Golden Gate in an open air fire truck. Here is some info on the tour:
http://www.fireenginetours.com.

Nate has been challeging us quite a bit lately in the bad behavior area but that seems to be leveling off. We just think he's feeling well enough to give us a hard time, so I guess that's a good sign. We go thru a "one step forward, two steps back" process with him since he gets away with murder while on tough medicines. Then we have to reel him back in after he's done taking that medicine. Its hard to evaluate whether his behavior is "normal" 4 year old behavior or issues related to his treatment.

Right before Forth of July Weekend he recieved another one of his 4 hour IV infusions of a chemo drug, which before has not caused him too much discomfort but this time he spent most of the evening throwing up, that was tough for the little guy. But by Saturday he was ready to go to Greg's folks for the holiday weekend. We had a great weekend and the kids spent a lot of time playing with their cousins. Nate's still has water resctrictions because of his port in his chest so he couldn't go swimming in the lake. The kids had a big squirt gun fight, which Nate could do. We also went to the river one day. Nate went in the water up to his waist and then spent time floating in a blown up boat, while we pushed him around the water. Andrew enjoyed his new baby cousin, Brian, and showered him with kisses and hugs. Andrew is very loving and gentle with other kids, so I hope that will carry on to our new baby. Andrew kept on the move all weekend, walking everywhere. He enjoyed the fireworks and was not scared at all.

We continue thru the rest of the summer with Nate taking an evening chemo pill and then every three weeks he gets the 4 hour IV infusion. Overall he is feeling well and biggest side effect of those medicines is a lack of appetite. His hair even seems to be coming back now. He and Andrew are enjoying taking a gymnastics class. And Andrew has started swim lessons with Greg. Nate will get another week of steriod in July and then this phase will end Agust 11th, with another Bone Marrow and Spinal Tap. Then we'll move to the phase 3.

My cousin, Amy, is still here helping us out which is a big help with Andrew who weighed in at 33 lbs at his last doctor's visit. Unfortunately, she has to go back home right before the baby is born, a big bummer for all of us but her college semester starts Aug. 23rd.

My ceserean is scheduled for August 31st at 7:30am. So then we will start a different phase of our lives. As August 31st approaches, I still find myself overcome with the emotions of those first few weeks after Nate's diagnosis and when I think of how the medicines have changed him physically and emotionally.

Check out this photo album to see pictures related to Nate's treatment and how he has changed over the last couple months. When I look at these it makes me sad to see how the treatments have made him change but as you can see from the last picture the kids seem to move past the feeling bad and move on to the "Let's play rough Daddy" In between treatments we get back on track with our lives and "Life is Good".

We haven't updated the website very much, Greg's working on an easier process for that and he has been very busy working and being a great Dad.

Check out the following link to see new pictures of the boys.

The Boys

Thank you for all the support and good wishes,

- Christa
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Sat, 29 May 2004

Well, we're home.
This week Nate finished the 3 weeks of steroid (and vincristine, and daunorubicin) that are the first half of his delayed intensification (DI) stage of chemo. Wednesday morning was the last dose of dex, and boy were we happy for that! We wanted our son back. I've been calling him Senior Loco, since the steroid side-effects change his personality. He ballooned up the last week on steroid... on Wednesday in clinic he weighed in at 59.7 lbs... just huge. And, he was at the point where he could barely walk, couldn't get up or down to the floor anymore, couldn't climb a single step on his own. Kind of like at the end of Induction. I guess that's why this stage is called Intensification

His labs on Wednesday looked ok (CBC primarily), so we went home without even seeing his NP or doctor. Thursday he was continuing to swell, even though we had stopped the steroid the day before. And, he started complaining about it hurting when he urinated. His scrotum had swelled up, and looked like a water balloon. So, Christa took him in to see the doctor. Dr. Marina checked him out, and she decided she didn't want to just give him lasix (a diuretic) and send him home. So, she admitted Nate to the hospital. This was about 5:30 pm on Thursday. I went by the house on the way there to pick up clothes and toys, etc.

The blood test results on Thursday showed his BUN was high, some other liver functions tested high, his albumin was low, and his triglycerides were sky high (> 3000, normal is < 150). I guess his fluid issue, and other stuff was a bit interesting, because several of the senior oncologists all checked on him. He had a chest and abdominal x-ray Thursday night, but we'd have to wait until morning for an ultrasound. But, there wasn't a plan on what to do, other than to keep monitoring him. So, Nate and I settled in for the night.

A fasting blood test at 8am on Friday morning showed that his BUN had dropped a bit, his triglycerides were down to 500 (still several times normal), his cholesterol was high (expected based upon the triglycerides level). His albumin was still low. An ultrasound was performed in the morning, and there was no obvious pooling of fluid in his body, just swollen tissue apparently holding onto too much water.

Dr. Marina came by and she talked about what the plan was: give him an infusion of albumin, and follow that with lasix. The albumin should draw water from the tissue into the blood, and the lasix would cause the kidneys to remove the fluid from the blood with increased urine production.

So, a lot of time was spent hanging out, waiting for the albumin to be prepared for the infusion, starting the infusion, and then giving him the lasix injection. I snuck out for a while, went home and got cleaned up, then headed back to the hospital.

This seemed to help, and he started to loose the fluid. But, it takes a while, so we spent another night in the hospital. At 5am a nurse weighed him (Why did they do it at 5am? Because they can.), and he had dropped 4 kilos (8.8 lbs) from Thursday evening. You could see in his face and his belly measurements (they measured his girth several times).

Dr. Marina had indicated on Friday evening that he should be able to go home on Saturday morning... well, morning is a relative term. Saturday morning when she came by on rounds, she decided that we should do another albumin/lasix round. And, since his blood pressure rose a bit during the albumin infusion, they decided to watch him for 2 hours after the drugs were administered. So, after loosing even more water, he finally got to head home after 6pm Saturday.

Of course, life can't be this easy... Nate decided he couldn't sleep so he was up until 10:30pm, Andrew woke up about 9pm from his sleep crying hard, then managed to puke all over Christa. Why would life be simple? That would be too easy.


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Fri, 23 Apr 2004

Three Months of Treatment
Week 14 of 130 [ Consolidation Phase ]

Today is 3 months exactly since Nate's first dose of chemo, on January 23. I haven't written for a while. Life is good. Nate has been doing well. I've updated his treatment
calendar to cover weeks 1 through 32 of treatment (today is part of week 14). I'll have to get around to the next 98 weeks following that.

We've had some excitement over the last month, since my last update. The fun part was a whirlwind trip to LegoLand in Carlsbad, CA. It's between LA and San Diego (closer to San Diego), so it turned out to be about 450 miles each way. We did it as a quick trip, leaving about 5am on Thursday, April 8th. We got to the park at 1pm, and spent the rest of the afternoon there until they closed at 6pm. We spent most of Friday at the park. And then, on Saturday, we headed home. It was a tun of driving. But, we had a lot of fun. Most importantly, Nate had a lot of fun. Check out the pictures. Auntie Vicki came along and was a tremendous help with the boys. Nate shared a room with her at the hotel. The first night he slept with her in the same bed. The next night, he told her to sleep in the other bed because she "cuddles too much ". He cracks us up.

Christa, in all her copious spare time, managed to organize a blood drive at Nate's pre-school. It takes a lot of 4 year olds to get a pint of blood though. Just kidding... quite a few parents, family and friends donated blood. I think it was like 25 people. She did it through the Stanford blood bank. This was not a directed donor program, donating just for Nate. This was just normal donation. Nate has only required 2 units of red blood, and one unit of platelets during his treatment. We'll what those numbers are when he's done with treatment in 2006.

A few weeks ago we had a bit of a scare. Nate started running a fever on Saturday, March 27th. Not real high, but we had two readings over 100.3 an hour apart. That's enough to trigger an ER visit. Of course it was 9pm at night, so Christa's mom came over while Andrew slept, and Christa, Nate and I headed up to the Stanford ER (and who says I don't take Christa out on Saturday nights anymore?). The triage nurse took one look at Nate's bald head, and steered us straight into her cubicle. She took his temp (which had dropped slightly from home), and called and immediately got a room for us in the ER. They don't want the cancer kids near anyone who might be sick. And, I'm thankful for it.

So, they took blood samples from both of Nate's tubes, and we hung out while the blood cultures and the CBC tests were completed. The cultures came back negative for infection, and his CBC showed that his immune system was in pretty good shape. His hemoglobin was a little low, but not low enough to trigger a need for a transfusion right away. By this time, his fever had gone away, and since his ANC was good (measure of his immune system), they sent us home on fever watch. On Sunday, he had two readings of 99.4, but the remainder were all normal.

Nate's fever was not the scare that I mentioned... read on.

Monday, though, Andrew started running a fever. So, we figured at this point there was a virus that the boys both got. Andrew was pretty cranky. So, tylenol it was, and he ended up taking extra naps. Tuesday was about the same (Nate was doing well), but in the evening when changing Andrew for bed, we noticed a couple of red bumps on him. That started setting off alarms for us. In January, at Andrew's 1 year checkup, we skipped his MMR and Varicella (chiken pox) vaccinations. Both of those are live virus vaccines, and since Nate had a compromised immune system, we were advised to skip them. First thing Wednesday morning, Christa hauled AJ down to the pediatrician's office. She saw him right away, and when looking at him, said it didn't look like chicken pox at all. In fact, it didn't look like a virus, maybe more like an allergy or something. There were only a couple of the spots, and they didn't feel rough or anything. So, relieved, Christa brought him home. But, he was still cranky and running a fever.

Our fear was chicken pox first, and measles second. Chicken pox is one of those diseases that almost all kids get, and in general, is fairly simple. Very few children have any severe complications from it. The child mortality rate for normal kids age 1 - 8 is about 2 per 100,000. That's a rate of 0.002 percent. Very low. Children who have leukemia that contract chicken pox have a mortality rate in the range of 7 - 25%. As many as 1 in 4 will die if they catch chicken pox.

Of course, the story isn't over yet, now is it. Wednesday afternoon Andrew's fever broke, which was good. He started to perk right up. So, Wednesday night, changing Andrew for bed (why didn't we just leave him naked by this point?), we discovered his torso was covered with a red, bumpy rash. So, now, we're not sure what this is. It was very different from what the doctor looked at in the morning. So, first think Thursday morning, off AJ went to the pediatrician. She said it could either be rubella or roseola. Both are viruses. Rubella is the German Measles, and is the 'R' in the 'MMR' vaccine. Of course, Andrew didn't have that vaccine yet. Roseola is a common herpes virus variant, that generally only shows up in children from about 9 months to 2 years of age. Either case, there was nothing to do for Andrew. However, know what it was could be important for Nate. So, she ordered a CBC for Andrew, and he had his first real blood draw of his life. Christa said he did great.

In the end, it ended up it wasn't rubella, so it must have been roseolla. And, Nate never ended up with anything other than a little bit of fever.

So, after conferring with Nate's oncology staff, we determined that we could get AJ vaccinated for both MMR and varicella. If Andrew caught full blow chicken pox, it would be a much greater risk to Nate. Nate did have the varicella vaccine when he was younger, but it's probably not very effective now. If his immune system is really down, then it wouldn't make a bit of difference if he's been vaccinated. If I remember right, then, Friday April 16th, AJ was vaccinated for MMR & varicella. And, knock on wood, no issues with Nate.

The last bit of news is that we had an ultrasound of the new baby, and we found out that we're going to have a girl. So, Nate and Andrew will be having a baby sister. I'm sure it's gonna get crazy around our house...
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Thu, 25 Mar 2004

Week 6, Consolidation
It's been a while since I put up an update.  Mostly, because things have been going pretty smooth.  Nate wrapped up the steroid last week, taking his last dose on the night of the 16th.  What a relief.  It's hard taking care of Nate that way.  One of those last days on steroid, Christa was taking care of Nate while I was at work.  Apparently he threw a major fit, trying to hit and kick her, just hopping mad.  She managed to distract him, get him focused on something else.  He snapped out of the funk, and a couple minutes later he asked her: "Mommy, why was I mad at you?"  What can you say.  It's not him, it's the drugs.  Really.  It took a couple days for the steroid to clear.  Even Friday, on the 3rd day off, Christa had to bring him home from preschool because he was pitching a fit.  Part of the problem was that she was there, and parents bring out the worst behavior in their kids.

Over the weekend, Nate was doing quite well.  We even did some playing hockey on the back patio.  Andrew even got in on the action, chasing us around in his walker.  It was hilarious.  One of these days they're gonna leave me in their dust.   On Tuesday, Auntie Reggie came down with her girls, and Christa and Nate and Andrew headed met them at the
Rosicrucian Egyptian Museum in San Jose.  Seemed they had a pretty good time there.  But, when they got back to the house, Nate played hard with the girls, all day long.  He really hasn't had that sort of day, getting crazy with the cousins, since before his diagnosis.  I didn't get home until 6:30, so I missed most of it.  But, they were still playing then, so i got a glimpse.  Hard to believe, watching him play, that he has a deadly disease.

Over the last week or more, we've been spending some time up at LPCH visiting another family that's there.  Little Spencer is another boy with ALL, all of 3 1/2 years old.  But Spencer has T-cell, which is worse than Nate's B-cell.  And, worst yet, a couple weeks ago, he relapsed in his CNS (spinal/brain fluid, not his bone marrow).  Since then, he's getting beat up with spinal taps, getting TIT (triple intra-thecal chemo drugs) a couple times per week.  The methotrexate is causing mouth sores, such that he hasn't talked for 3 weeks now, and he can hardly eat.  The doctors have been trying to get his leukemia back into remission.  Spencer's parents, Kerri & Brian, have decided that he will get a cord-blood transplant at Duke University in North Carolina.

The good news today is that his spinal yesterday showed no leukemia cells.  That is great news.  However, Spencer's blood counts are so low that he can't travel to Duke yet.  So, they're in a holding pattern waiting for his counts to come up.  Hopefully they will, real soon.  Then, off they go, making the move.  And we are hoping for all the best for them.  Please visit Spencer's website, and you'll see pictures of a very courageous little boy, and can read about his story.  

Now, onto Nate's treatment.  For everyones education, I've added a link on to a page that gives copious details about the different chemo drugs that Nate is taking.  The information was gathered by a parent of a child with ALL.  It's a great reference.  This week was IT & IV MTX week.  It's been 3 weeks since Nate's in-patient stay when he got his first IV MTX treatment.  This week would be different, however, where we would get to do this outpatient.  So, yesterday morning, bright and early, we headed off to the hospital.  We had labs drawn in the clinic, and Lynn checked Nate over physically.  We got the bicarbonate solution IV running early so that we'd be able to start the IV methotrexate infusion at a reasonable time.  After she was done, we headed upstairs to the PACU to wait for "surgery".  For him, it's not really surgery, just the spinal tap procedure.  But, we're putting him to sleep for this now, so we had to wait for the anesthesiologist.  Once Nate was asleep it took only a few moments to do the LP.  Lynn took a sample of his CSF to check for leukemia, and then injected methotrexate into his spine.  Then, we headed off to the recovery room so they could monitor him.  He slept quite a while in recovery, far longer than last time.  I think he was just tired from the day before, playing with his cousins.  That's ok.  We weren't going anywhere.  After recovery, we headed downstairs to the day hospital.  That's where he would be getting his IV MTX.

In the day hospital we got him to go pee, so the nurses could check the pH level.  It was good, so they were able to get the MTX infusion started at 1:15pm.  That started the clock running for the 4 hour infusion.  And, it's important for the follow up days.  Nate was a bit restless this time, didn't really settle into any one thing.  Watched some TV, played some video games, played cards, but didn't do his usual watching of a movie for a couple hours.  He took some entertaining.  At 5:15 the infusion was done, so the nurse removed his MTX bag.  A little bit later, the home health care nurse showed up with our portable infusion pump, in a little backpack.  In the pack was a bag of bicarb solution and the pump programmed for 24 hours of infusion.  She got us hooked up, and we headed home.  Nate fell asleep on the way home, as expected (it was around 7pm of a full day).  Off to bed he went.  The night was not uneventful, however, as he did wake up after wetting the bed.  This was the first time he has since starting treatment.  We expected it a lot earlier, especially with some long days of hydration, but he's got a bladder of steel.  So, we changed his clothes, washed him up a bit, and changed the bed.  I try to do all of this if possible, keeping Christa in her pregnant glory, away from the chemo drugs.  Of course, I suppose I ought to be careful too.  Some of the chemo drugs cause cancer.  How ironic is that?

So, today we headed to the hospital for a blood draw at the 24 hr mark (1:15pm).  We hung around for a few hours waiting for the results.  It turns out he was at a level of 1.4 ( the units don't matter... ), where we need him to get down to 0.2.  Last time, in the hospital, he was at 0.4 at the 24hr mark.  Apparently he's not flushing it out as quickly this time.  We'll be heading back to the hospital tomorrow for another blood draw to check MTX levels.  Also, at 7am tomorrow morning we'll be giving the first of the leucovorin rescue (follinic acid) to stop the methotrexate toxicity.  Again at 1pm we'll give the leucovorin, and have the blood draw at 1:15pm.  

The beauty of doing this whole process outpatient is that even though he's confined by having to lug around the infusion pump and hydration solution bag, he can pass the time at home with his own toys, games and TV.  It's hard for us because he has to urinate frequently, and he needs help often to get around with the bag of solution.  But that's ok.  Hospitals are for sick people.


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Sun, 14 Mar 2004

Week 4, Consolidation
In all, it's been a pretty good weekend.  Nate has demanded a lot of attention, but that's to be expected.  The weather here in California has been just beautiful.  Yesterday we had 3 tickets to the SJ Sharks vs. LA Kings hockey game.  Christa, Nate and I headed off to the game.  It didn't work so well.  Nate's fear of heights has worsened lately.  We were in the upper deck.  I carried him up to our seats.  After about 2 minutes, he had a big problem.  He was crying, just wanting to go home.  Of course, he's under the influence of steroids.  But, his phobia is definately kicking in.  So, we have these cool towels from the game that say "Beat LA" or something.  After leaving before the puck even dropped, we headed over to Johnny Rockets, the burger joint.  He liked the vanilla milkshake, for sure.  When we got home, I got to watch the rest of the sharks game on TV.  Go Sharks.  I told Nate I was proud of him for trying.  He later said sorry for having to leave the Sharks game.  It's amazing how unimportant the event was.  

We did lots of playing this weekend.  I'm trying to make sure that Andrew doesn't get left out.  Andrew just loves his big brother.  He wants to wrestle with Nate.  He'll scoot on over close by, and grab hold of him and scream.  Nate will even get Andrew, which is a big change.  Not long ago, I don't know if Nate even knew he had a little brother.  That's an exaggeration, but he was mostly disinterested.  Babys don't do much, and so they're not much fun.  I have a feeling that soon they're gonna be trouble together.

We managed to pick up a second hand bed for Andrew this weekend.  It's a race car bed, like Nate's.  But, it's the toddler size, rather than the twin size that Nate has.  It ought to do the trick when we have to kick Andrew out of the crib for the new baby.

Nate's eating has started.  His kick this time is Subway sandwiches.  For breakfast, lunch and dinner today.  Yesterday, Christa bought him a foot long on wheat, mayo, lettuce, tomato, turkey and cheese.  Today, I ran out and bought him another one.  Cheaper than sushi, that's for sure.  It all started with a Togos sandwich on Friday, but the bread got too hard in the fridge.  The Subway sandwiches seem to keep better in the fridge, and they're a little smaller and easier for Nate to eat.  Whatever.  I'm just glad it's not Beluga caviar that he needs.  He only needed a small snack at 3am last night.  Two more days of steroids.  We'll get through it.

We found this site tonight about fundraising for Leukemia research.  Check it out.  It's a crack up.  I'm gonna have to do this for sure, and get a bunch of buddies to do it also!  
http://www.stbaldricks.org/

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Fri, 12 Mar 2004

Week 4, Consolidation
Steroid boy is back.  The hunger isn't here yet, but the other effects are.  He can't focus very long.  His mind is racing.  He has absolutely no patience.  When he says "Daddy, can I tell you something".  If you don't respond within about 10 milliseconds, he starts screaming at you.  So, I take a deep breath, and calmly say "yes, Nate".  I know it's just the drugs.  Still doesn't make it pleasant to experience the fits.

On Tuesday evening, when we were getting Nate ready for bed, Christa noticed that the wound where the surgeon put in the Hickman catheter  seemed extra red.  Not the site where the tube exits Nate's chest, but the spot on the collar bone where a small incision was made to get into the chest.  After they put in the tube, a small suture was put in there and it seemed like it was healing fine before.  But, the skin seemed to have a red area that was growing over the prior few days.  So, Christa called the on-call hemo/onc fellow.  After describing to them, the advice was to come into the clinic in the morning and have it looked at.  If it was the site where the tube exits Nate's chest, we probably would have had to head to the emergency room.

Wednesday morning, Christa and Nate headed to the clinic.  I headed to the local internet cafe to work, and Nana was watching AJ.  After the oncology clinic nurses looked at it, they called someone from pediatric surgery to check it out.   They took a look at it and said that his body was just trying to get rid of the suture.  The treatment:  apply a warm compress 5 times a day and clean with peroxide.  How's that for a simple procedure.  Since they were already in clinic, Lynn decided we should move clinic day to Wednesdays instead of Thursdays, and they did labs and the vincristine injection.  And, we started the Dirty Dex.  That's a name I've seen parents use for the dexamethasone, the nasty steroid.

That evening, Nana was making dinner for us.  I joked to her, saying "ok, now you guys enjoy dinner.  Christa and I will be back in a while.".  Christa picked up on this and said to Nate "Nate, we're going out for a while.  Be good for Nana and Papa.".  He said "Ok, bye".  We didn't have to be told twice.  I felt bad about leaving when Nana was so nice and cooking dinner for us, but I think this might have been the first time since diagnosis that Christa and I could both be away from Nate.  We took the chance and went for it.  We headed to a very close by mexican restaurant and had dinner.  Not a long one, but it was dinner for two.

Thursday Nate started exhibiting the signs of the steroid:  restlessness, screaming fits (called 'Roid Rage).  How quick the effects kick in.  We'll see when the hunger starts.  Saturday we're going to the SJ Sharks hockey game.  It's a noon game, and we've got three tickets.  We'll see if we can get through it.

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Tue, 09 Mar 2004

Week 3, Consolidation
Life feels kind of normal.  This morning, Christa and Nate headed off to pre-school and grandma came over to watch Andrew.  I went to work.  The weather was beautiful, and it was a good day.  When I got home, I had two crazy boys wanting to play, and boy were they full of energy.  It took a while to settle them down then, when bed time came.  I read books to Andrew, and Nate hovered, mostly listening.  Christa took Andrew off to bed, and I read Nate a nice long book.  I really miss that.  We hadn't done that for quite a while.  

How did we get here?  Let me fill you in on what happened since Saturday.  Sunday I met up with Nate, Christa and Madie at lunchtime in the cafeteria at LPCH.  Nate and I hung out and played cards while Christa and Madie went for a walk.  After a bit, we headed upstairs to see if the play room was open yet.  But, it wasn't open until 2pm, so we walked around, and around, and around the 3rd floor.  He had one of the worst rolling IV poles that we've seen, so it was a pain.  But, it was good to have him moving around that much.

Eventually, the play room opened up, and we went in for him to play.  Christa joined us, and we hung out for a while.  About 3pm we went back to Nate's room so the nurse could do his blood draw.  We needed that blood draw to come back showing a low enought MTX level to send us home.  We killed some time by going up on the roof, where there's a nice little garden.  We brought Nate's Bionicles (toys by Lego) up there, and we did battle for a while.  Eventually, we went back down to Nate's room and talked to the nurses to find out what the blood test results were.  He was cleared, so the nurse unhooked his IV.  It was kind of like unchaining an animal... we ended up running around in the hallways, playing football.  He was cracking me up.  We got all our junk packed up and managed to get home just before 7pm.  Nate fell asleep on the way home, as expected.  We got his medications in him and were done for the evening.  Andrew was still up, and boy was he happy to see Christa.  He had been missing her, for sure.

Monday we spent a good day.  We ended up going to the park for lunch, enjoying the beautiful weather we have going right now.  In the 70s, actually kind of hot when in the sun.  It was a nice way to celebrate coming home from the hospital.  

Looking forward, Nate starts back on the DEX (dexamethasone, steroid) on Thursday for a week duration, along with a shot if vincristine on Thursday, and again a week from Thursday.  On March 24th, we'll have the next LP to administer MTX into Nate's spine, and do the IV MTX again.  We're hoping we'll be able to do that outpatient.  Sounds like we'll be taking an infusion pump home with us, though, to keep Nate's bicarbonate solution flowing.  Sounds like a pain, but must be better than hanging out in the hospital.

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Sat, 06 Mar 2004

Week 3, Consolidation
It's been a while since I've updated the website.  So, let's talk about Nate.  Since we finished Induction 2 weeks ago, Nate has been steadily improving.  He has lost a good amount of the weight that built up from the steroid.  His face is still quite round, and he pretty well doesn't have any hair.  He's got some blonde peach fuzz, that must have been underneath his normal hair.  Christa said it reminds her of when he was a baby.  His energy level is much better than it was.  He's keeping us busy, wanting to play a lot.  This week, he even wanted to do some wrestling, or as we call it "playing rough".  It's been a while since we've done that.  His legs are regaining their strength.  He picks himself up off the floor ok, but uses his hands on his knees to help push him up straight.  Climbing steps is a slow careful process.  He's even started to be a bit afraid coming down the stairs from our upstairs family room.  I think the lack of leg strength makes him feel like he might fall.

Christa took Nate to school a couple times over the last week.  He can't keep up with the physical play, but he still seemed to have a good time.  It was good for him to get out of the house, and do some stuff.  It's amazing how much better he has been feeling since we stopped the steroid.  Unfortunately, we'll be starting it up again for 7 days next week.  Oh joy.

Right now is a Saturday evening that's much too quiet.  Andrew is sleeping, and I'm sitting in bed typing this update.  Christa and Nate are in the hospital, staying at Lucy's Hyatt.  That's the humorous name for Lucille Packard Children's Hospital.  This is Nate's first ever time staying in the hospital since he was born.  If the stars and planets align just right, this would be his last.  He's there for his first dose of IV methotrexate (MTX).  Yesterday he went in for MTX into his spine, and also the IV MTX.  He's going to have this done every 3 weeks for a few months.  We chose to do something different this time with the LP.  This time, an anesthesiologist put Nate to sleep for the lumbar puncture.  Last time, he was only sedated, and it was not pleasant at all.  This time, he was put to sleep so that Pam could do the LP, and then he woke up quickly thereafter.  Real quick, actually.  Then, back in recovery, he was really good.  He was chatting away, and in great spirits.  He didn't seem to be ill from the anesthesia and recovered quite well.  The only trouble was that the procedure started a little late, and afterward we had to hang out in recovery forever, waiting for a bed to be ready in the oncology ward.

Once Nate was moved to the Onc ward, he was sharing a room with another child, a young woman of 17.  Apparently she has relapsed recently with her ALL.  She's proceeding to a bone marrow transplant.  However, I didn't actually meet her.  She was out of the room when Nate went in there, and I didn't stick around very long.  I managed catch a cold on Thursday, and I couldn't put the kids at risk.  The ward has plenty of neutropenic children (extremely low immune systems) who can't be exposed to germs.  Our original plans were for me to stay over in the hospital with Nate, and Christa would stay at home with Andrew.  But, we had to change that up.  Nate did amazingly well with the change in plans.  Sometimes he's a little too rigid in his thinking, but he did great.

Last night, after running a bicarbonate hydration into Nate, and when his urine tested for the proper pH, the nursed hooked up his IV MTX.  Christa said the nurse put on a special coat to prevent splashing on herself when hooking it up.  There's something so unnatural about hooking a bag to your child's IV, where the bag is clearly labeled as a bio-hazard.  But that's what has to happen.  It's sadly ironic, that after these years of trying to make sure he eats good foods, and keeping him clean and safe, we intentionally poison him.  Luckily he's not on high dose MTX.  The most common side effect fromt he MTX is mouth sores.  I'm not sure when those might show up, if at all.  I've heard from several parents on the ALL-KIDS email list that their children got through the methotrexate without any real side effects.  I hope we're as lucky.

Nana went down to visit and hang out this morning, and I met the three of them in the cafeteria for lunch.  I had dropped AJ off at Madie's house, and just went to the hospital cafeteria.  They came down, dragging Nate's IV cart with them.  Nana, Nate and I hung out and had lunch, while Christa went out for a walk.  She hadn't been out of the hospital for a while, and you end up feeling disconnected from the world.  The weather was beautiful and sunny, so she went out.  We finished lunch, and Nate decided he wanted to go back to his room and watch a movie, after complaining that his belly hurt.  Probably because he really hadn't eaten much last night or this morning.  But when I talked to Christa tonight, she said he didn't eat any dinner.  Oh well.  I guess half a sandwich is better than nothing for a day's eating.

Nate should be able to come home tomorrow, after blood tests show that the MTX level has dropped to a sufficently low level.  If his body hasn't eliminated it sufficiently, then they'll give him another drug that is effectively the antidote for the MTX.   It seems likely that it'll be late Sunday night when he's released.  We told them that even if it's late, we'd like to take him home.  Driving 25 minutes in the car to get home should get him back to sleep so I can just carry him to bed.  It would be much nicer for my little buddy to wake up in his own bed.

The next time we do this treatment is Mar. 24th.  We'll be putting Nate to sleep again for the LP, and then he'll hang out for the MTX IV.  But, my understanding is that we'll get to go home, probably with an infusion pump to keep IV fluids running.  I bet we'll have to come back each of the next two days, to check MTX levels, but that we won't have to stay in the hospital.

Christa is amazing.  She keeps everything going.  Tonight on the phone she told me about a 1 year old that's in the ward.  I guess the parents can't be there much for some reasons.  So, volunteers or staff hold it as much as they can.  I think hearing the baby cry was getting to Christa, so she asked if she could hold the baby.  There's no off switch to that maternal instinct.  So many kids in there are much worse off than Nate, and I'm sure we'll feel their pain as we live through this process.

Good night.


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Sat, 21 Feb 2004

Day 2, Consolidation
Nate ate the great American breakfast of an eggo waffle, bacon, and California rolls.  Nana and Papa took AJ over to my sister's house for her daughter's birthday.  Kind of strange walking through the house this afternoon without the little guy under foot.

For dinner, we had to go get more sushi for him.  He likes the gyoza too (basically, Japanese potstickers).  We also went by Blockbuster so Nate could pick out some movies to watch.  He watched his Scooby Doo movie we rented upstairs, while I hung out next to him typing this update.  He's so sweet.  Every so often he'll say "Daddy, can I tell you something?" and then he'll say "Daddy, I love you."  What a trooper.

Tonight Christa is supposed to hook up with her group of friends, the LSI girls.  They all used to work together, and they've all stayed very good friends.  I figure it'll do her good to get out.  I'll stay home with the boys.  Not sure when AJ will get home with Nana and Papa, but no sweat.

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Fri, 20 Feb 2004

Day 1, Consolidation
Today's a pretty good day.  Nate's feeling pretty good.  Christa checked his dressing on the Hickman line, and it was really starting to come up.  We needed to do his dressing change today anyways, so we did it in the morning while the baby was sleeping.  Nate started out complaining loudly and worrying about whether it would hurt, but Christa got started and it came off easily.  That was good.  After she changed the dressing, I did his cap change and line flush.  That part was done for the day.

Nate decided he wanted to go to Taco Bell for lunch.  This is the first time that he's wanted to go somewhere since our day at the park feeding the ducks.  I'll take this as a good sign that he's feeling well.  So, our big family outing was heading down to our local Taco Bell, all four of us.  Kind of cool.  Nate can't climb into our out of the van.  He actually can't even go up steps without a hand helping him up.  I'm sure it'll get better as his weight drops, and the steroid fades.

We're done with the steroid today, yeah!  We started the 6-mp tonight.  Hard thing is that it's supposed to be on an empty stomach.  Steroid boy doesn't stop eating, though.  So, I put him to bed at 8pm, woke him up at 10pm just long enough to give him his pill, then he went right back to sleep.  Luckily, he slept well.  Sometime in the middle of the night he needed to use the restroom, so Christa helped him.  I fed the baby a bottle about 4am, and he went back to sleep nicely.  So, in all, it was a good night.  No middle of the night food preparation.  We'll see how subsequent days go.

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Thu, 19 Feb 2004

Day 28, Induction
Good News!  Nate's leukemia is in remission!  It's official, we move on to the next stage of chemo, Consolidation.

Today was not just any clinic day.  Today was the last day of induction.  We headed off to the hospital bright and early so that Nate could have a BMA & LP.  Those suck.  In a very big way.  When we got there the did a blood draw for labs and took Nate's vitals.  His numbers came back great.  His Hgb was pretty good, but his platelets were up a lot, into the normal range.  His ANC, which was in the 400's last week, was something like 2500 today.  His nurse indicated that his numbers might be artificially elevated by the steroid, but they're obviously far better than before.

Now, his vitals were kind of fun.  Nate is weighing in now at 56 lbs.  I think he was about 42 lbs before we started this process.  Crazy.  He gained 1/3 additional body weight in 1 month.  And, my back is starting to feel it.  I've had to carry him a lot lately.  I'm sure the extra weight is hard for his legs, and his energy level is so low.  The real fun is when he wants to watch tv upstairs and I've got to carry him up the pretty steep staircase.  Doesn't really matter... he could weigh 3 times as much and I'd still find a way.

It was tough to get all the way through to the procedures.  Nate had to be pre-op, meaning no food.  The human garbage disposal had to abstain from eating.  It wasn't voluntary, that's for sure.  Christa and I had to withstand the fury until we could get started for the procedure.  Then, we traded off the food issue for the issue of getting poked.  Nate was stressing over that.  The nurses got him hooked up and gave him some of the sedative.  As before, though, Nate fought it off pretty good.  They actually did 3 doses of the sedative and 3 of the painkiller this time, rather than just the 2 last time.  Didn't make a difference.  He was completely alert and aware, and stressing over being poked.  We started off with the  LP, and he had to be on his side for that.  Lynn, his nurse, had some trouble finding the right spot in his back.  The weight he has added makes it much harder to feel the vertebrae.  Also, since you have to curl him up in a ball to get separation between the bones in the back for the needle to slip through, his much bigger belly is making it more difficult.  His knees can't get as close to the nose as they used to.  So, a couple of tries and no luck.  Whenever she would start to poke, he would straighten up his back and close of her access.  So, Christa and I swapped spots, and I used a bit of pressure behind his shoulder blades and head and pulled on the backs of his knees to bring them together.  This was good enough, because Lynn got it this time.  

After we finished dripping the spinal fluid into a collection tube for testing, they got the lab technician there.  The technician was to evaluate whether the marrow sample was good when Lynn took that.  So, we started the bone marrow aspiration.  Position isn't as important, but finding the right bone is.  And, finding his hip bone is difficult with the extra weight.  Lynn got it on her first try.  The nurses are really good at this.  Treating these kids gives them plenty of practice.

After the procedures, Nate did some recovering in the procedure room.  He was not a happy camper, and the sedative did nothing to help him cooperate.  He needed to lay flat for a while after the spinal, but he was insisting on sitting up on his knees.  He was screaming at us about that, but we finally got him sort of settled up on a pillow a little bit, and watching his movie.  He was getting a little mad about that, too, though, because he said he couldn't see it very well.  I think he had blurred vision from the drugs.  He kept asking when the stuff would wear off.  He told me "I can't control my brain".  Obviously he fights the sedative so that he can stay in control of himself.   Unfortunately, it just makes it harder on him.

He started eating once we let him sit up.  A bag of chips.  Some pieces of sushi.  Yeah, sushi.  That's what every 4 year old kid on steroids wants, right?  He has eaten California rolls nonstop for almost a week.  We've had to pick them up just about every day from a local Japanese restaurant.  They've got cooked meat in them, so they're ok for him.  No raw fish in his diet right now... But, it was hilarious watching the nurses faces as he munched his way through some rolls.  Then we took a trip downstairs to the cafeteria to pass some time until the results of the tests would be ready.  We grabbed one of those red wagons they have to haul the kids around in the hospital.  He was still woozy from the sedative, and couldn't walk very well.  So, off we went down to the cafeteria.  

We returned to the clinic waiting room, and hung out.  And waited.  And waited some more.  Finally, Lynn poked her head out, and said that Dr. Marina was really swamped, so she was grabbing one of the other oncs to review the slides.  A little while later, she was back, and you could tell by her smile that it was good news.  She said no leukemia, and the bone marrow looked really healthy.  So, she found us a room, and there we hung out.  We were waiting for Dr. Marina, so that we could ask some more questions.  We wanted some more information regarding the treatment protocols.

We talked with the Dr. for a while, asked some more questions, reviewed our understanding of the treatment protocols.  Stanford had adopted COG-9905 Arm A as the treatment protocol for standard risk leukemia if the patient was not on a study.  Or, we could enroll in the COG-9904 study, because Nate met the criteria (WBC < 50k, age between 1-9 years, TEL/AML1 positive).  We had come in thinking we would just follow standard therapy.  But some of our understanding of the protocols was slightly flawed, and the doctor straightened it out for us.  The doctor and staff left us so we could come to a decision.  We finally decided, and told them we wanted to enroll in the study 9904.  This was different from what we hinted at to Lynn earlier in the day.  It was funny, because she asked what made us change our minds.  She wondered whether we felt pressured by the doctor.  Honestly, we absolutely didn't feel pressured.  In fact, it seemed the doctor was almost indifferent to which treatment plan we chose.  She provided information very objectively, and let us make our decision.

So, the study coordinator was called, we signed the consent, and off she went.  A few minutes later, Nate was "randomized" into the study, and received arm D of teh study protocol.  This is the arm that has the 4 hour methotrexate administration, and the additional drugs for what appears to be a delayed intensification (referred to as DI).  This is the more aggressive treatment protocol in 9904.  I'll put up the treatment plan information soon.

For the next two weeks, we only have to give oral MP-6 once a day.  No more steroid.  What a beautiful thing.  Let's hope the hunger drops off.  Nate might get to lose a few pounds.  Two weeks from today Nate will have his first admission to the hospital.  He'll get a spinal tap to administer methotrexate into the spinal fluid, and IV methotrexate administration.  Then, 42 hours after starting the IV MTX, he'll get another drug to act as an antidote and stop the MTX.  This first IV MTX will be done with Nate admitted, but the following treatments will be done outpatient.  Our doctor had worked at St. Judes, and apparently they did everything outpatient that they could.  So, since we're getting 4 hr MTX rather than the 24 hr MTX, we'll be able to do the subsequent ones outpatient.  I think it's good, so Nate can sleep in his own bed.  More back and forth trips to the hospital, but that's fine.  Home is where he'll be most comfortable.

Christa, my wonderful wife, had the foresight to have a trophy made up for Nate for making it through induction.  He was quite happy to get that.  We gave it to him at the hospital, and then took a picture of Nate, Christa and Nate's NP, Lynn.  He's been so excited with the trophy since.  We have had to carry it to different rooms of the house.  Also, he keeps telling me, if I get hit by a hockey puck in the face, then if I'm really brave, he'll give me a trophy after my stitches.  This was spurred by a SJ Sharks hockey game that he and I went to in January, where one of the refs got hit by a puck.  The kid has a memory like an elephant.

Other than the procedures, today was a great day.  A big part of the stress that Christa and I have been under is over.  Nate's treatment decision has been made, and we're moving on down the path.

Here's some pics:
nate sleeping Nate waiting for the doctor.
Nate, Mommy, Lynn Christa, Nate and Lynn.

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Wed, 18 Feb 2004

Day 27, Induction
Food is again paramount in Nate's world right now.  Oh well.  Sushi and more sushi is what he wants.  

This afternoon we had an appointment with Dr. Marina to get some questions answered regarding treatment protocols.  Some of our understanding was not correct, and she helped straighten that out.  We've definately been beating our selves up trying to come to a decision.

Nate wanted to go with us, he even said he had some questions for Dr. Marina.  I don't think he wants to be away from us much.  So we brought Papa along to take care of Nate while we talked with the doctor.  They headed down to the cafeteria, big surprise, while Christa and I waited for our appointment.  We met with Dr. Marina and Lynn, his PNP.  We had a list of about 10 questions which we reviewed.  The more we've met with the doctor, the more I like her.  She doesn't beat around the bush, get's straight to the point.

Our hired help (the grandparents) took off fairly early.  They wanted to give us some time to talk about Nate's treatment plan and come to a decision.  The boys were in bed, and Christa and I spent a while at the kitchen table, going over the treatment plans.  Eventually, we broke out some scratch paper and mapped out the treatment phases to compare the COG 9904 and 9905 treatment plans.  We wanted to understand the arms better, in light of the info from the doctor.

Our tentative plan was to procede with the standard risk treament that Stanford follows, if you're not on study.  Apparently they use 9905 arm A.   Tomorrow would be a big day.

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Tue, 17 Feb 2004

Day 26, Induction
The word of the day is "bacon".  Last night, about every 30 minutes from 2am on, Nate would ask me "how many minutes until morning".  He had bacon on the brain.  I was laying with him so we wouldn't have to get out of bed to check on him every time he called for us.  Of course, it made for a long night.  In the morning, Christa made french toast and, you guessed it, bacon!  What a happy camper he is when he gets fed.

We have an appointment with Nate's oncologist tomorrow, so that we can get a bunch of questions answered before deciding on his therapy protocol.  That'll be over soon, which is good.  Talk about stress.  For better or worse, we'll have made a decision.

Christa headed to her OB appointment this morning, but they had to reschedule her.  The OB was in surgery and had 2 more patients in labor.  So, tomorrow morning at 8:30.  That's how it goes.  I'm planning on heading to work for the first time in 4 weeks.  Just a couple of hours to see everyone, and pick up my new laptop.  Gotta get back to contributing at work somehow.

Nate is definately looking a bit different now.  His belly is much bigger around.  His face has that tell-tale steroid roundness to it.  He's walking with a bit of a waddle.  And, his hair has gotten real thin.  Basically, he looks and walks like a middle age man with a gut.  But he's still my little buddy.

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Mon, 16 Feb 2004

Day 25, Induction
Another day of playing "what does Nate want to eat?".  He eats constantly.  But, he doesn't know what he wants.  So we play 20 questions.... "do you want a PB&J sandwich?  No.  Do you want a turkey sandwich?  No.  Do you want some ravioli?  No.  Do you want an apple?  Nooooo!".  I love to throw the fruit choices in there, because he should eat some good stuff.  But, he gets pissed... really pissed.  I've been told that if I bring him an apple, he's going to throw it at my eye.  He's getting very personal with his threats.

At the end of the day, he asked for funny face pancakes.  With bacon.  Kind of like some restaurants do on the kids menu.  We didn't have any bacon, so he got all worked up.  We're still loving how the steroids affect his emotions.  So, when Nana and Papa left, they stopped by the store and picked up some bacon so we'd have it in the morning.  We all knew that we better damn well have some bacon in the house come sunrise.

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Sun, 15 Feb 2004

Day 24, Induction
Nate is like a human vacuum cleaner... it's not right to see such a little guy eat so much.  It truly isn't right.  Just the drugs.  Who would have thought that sushi and pancakes went together?  (of course the sushi is actually cooked)

Kali came by and went for a walk with Christa.  That was great.  I'm glad Christa could get out and get a little excercise.   She's had so much demand on her lately, especially since I haven't been as much help.

Nate has really taken to playing card games.  Of course, that means one of us has to be playing it with him.  He's partial to playing "war" using a regular deck, he really likes his Uno game (it's the young kid's version), and a Tonka crazy-8's card game.  He likes to win, but he isn't getting too upset when he doesn't.  The hardest part is to hold the cards in one hand, while eating with the other.

Nate, Daddy playing cards Nate and Daddy playing cards.

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Sat, 14 Feb 2004

Day 23, Induction
Valentine's Day.  About 7am I started my calls for help.  I couldn't let Nate get sick from me, so I decided I would quarantine myself to the upstairs family room, and get someone to help out Christa with the kids.  I first called Nana and Papa.  They were up at Lake Wildwood, and I asked whether they knew what was up with Auntie Vicki and Auntie Reggie for this weekend.  I knew that Nana and Papa were headed up to Redding for Patty's baby shower up there, but I didn't know about the other aunties.  Nana didn't think they were going, so I called Vicki.  It was about 7:30  am on a Saturday, but hey, that's what family is for.  She said that she didn't have any special plans, so she would be able to come down and stay over at our house to help out.  So I called my mom back and she said that she and dad would head back to Santa Clara after they were done in Redding, so they could help out on Sunday.  Then Christa called her mom, and grandma Madie and grandpa Bob came over in the morning to help.

I headed up stairs, and watched TV.  And rested.  I hate being sick.  What I really hate is that I can't help with the kids right now.  I had been trying to be good, getting to bed early, just to make sure I would stay healthy.  But, I guess my body gave up the ghost.  So, here I am.  Now, I need to get healthy as quick as possible, so that I can be there to help on Thursday of this week.  Nate is due for a BMA (bone marrow aspiration) and an LP (lumbar puncture, also known as a spinal tap).  The last time we did those procedures, I helped restrain Nate, even though he was sedated.  I'm guessing it's going to be a long day.

Vicki and Alex showed up, and they were a big help.  Nate actually was hanging out with his auntie, playing card games with her and other stuff.  It was nice to see.

Funny story... Grandma went and got Taco Bell, cause that was what the prince wanted.  So they're pulling out his food, and it turns out they mistakenly gave hard shell tacos, not soft tacos.  Well, Nate blew a gasket.  I'm sure he's going to learn to swear soon.  Christa tried to convince him that she could just put it in a tortilla, and then it would be a soft taco.  He was having none of it, throwing a complete fit.  Grandma walked into the room and heard that they gave her the wrong thing.  So she gets mad, says "here give me those, I'm going back down there to make them do it right this time", or something to that effect.  Well, Nate quit his belly aching, and grinned like an imp.  I guess that was exactly what he wanted to hear.  


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Fri, 13 Feb 2004

Day 22, Induction
Today started out pretty well.  After Thursday's fun, we managed to get Nate to eat some food.  And, it stayed down.  That's a really good thing.  He wasn't really complaining about his belly hurting, no more than a normal day.  We had a pretty much normal day because of this.

Grandpa Bob came over in the afternoon.  This gave Christa an opportunity to run down to a trophy shop.  She had spoken on the phone with them about having a trophy made to celebrate Nate finishing the Induction phase of this chemotherapy.  They said that they would be able to get it done for Wednesday without any rush charges.  When Christa got back, we were able to do Nate's dressing change.  He started to have a fit, and complained (or screamed, if you prefer) a bit while the dressing was removed.  It actually came off really easy, so I think it wasn't any real pain, I think it was really Nate just pissed about being poked and prodded.  I got his caps changed and his lines flushed, so his line maintenance was done.

We also heard from Stacy, one of the nurses at the clinic.  Christa had called to clarify what protocol the doctor would want to use if we choose not to enroll in the 9904 study.  Stacy indicated Dr. Marina would want to use arm A of the 9905 protocol.  I have more reading to do to see what that entails.  I had already printed it out, but now I have to understand it better.

This evening, I started to feel like I was coming down with a cold.  I drank one of those vitamin-C packets that Christa likes, and we got to bed fairly early.  About midnight, Andrew woke up.  I was feeling crappy by then, and was starting to run a real low fever.  Christa tried to give him a bottle and put him back down, but he wasn't having any of it.  He wanted to be up, or something.  Of course, Nate woke up in this process also.  So, here we are at 1:30 in the morning, sitting at the kitchen table with AJ in his high chair, giving him a snack.  And he's busy playing peek-a-boo with us.  We got him back to bed, and this time he stayed, about 2am.  Around 6am (really, Saturday morning), I was running a fever of 101 and felt like crap.  I guess I've caught the flu.  That sucks, big time.  We can't afford to get Nate sick.

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Thu, 12 Feb 2004

Day 21, Induction
Clinic day.  We headed off to the hospital this morning, with Andrew in tow this time.  This is AJ's first trip to see where his brother goes.  Of course, he really doesn't care.  He just turned 1.  However, all the nurses got a chance to fawn over the little guy.  We figured we'll have to figure out how to manage our hospital visists by ourselves, not always relying on a babysitter.  Today was a good choice, because all we had were labs and a vincristine injection, so it should be a short day.  In hospital terms, that means probably only a few hours.

Everything went well at the hospital.  Nate's bloodwork came back, and his numbers were up.  His Hgb was solid, over 13.  His platelets were up to 96 or so, which was good.  His ANC was up over 400.  Last week, his ANC was 100 on Monday, 210 on Thursday, and now, a week later, was over 400.

On the drive home, Nate was talking about missing his friends from school.  He named several specifically, from both his current class, and some from last year.  He's still neutropenic, but maybe soon he'll be able to take a visit back to pre-school to see his friends.  His general stamina is definately down, and he's taking a couple of naps each day.

We went by the Wendy's drive through for some chicken strips and fries.  Nate's hunger is impossible to satisfy.  So, we got home and ate our lunch.

A little after lunch, Nate started complaining about his belly hurting... and this is when the day took a turn for the worse.  The pain was bad, and Nate was just screaming.  There was pretty much nothing we could do but hold him, and put on some cartoons to try and distract him.  After a while of this, he said he felt like he was going to get sick.  So, out came the buckets (which are strategically placed in the house), and it was a good thing.  He spent about an hour or so, periodically throwing up.  Not much fun at all.  Sometime around 4pm he fell asleep, with his head on my leg.  For the next 2 hours, I sat there, trying not to move (luckily I had the remote control and there was hockey on).  Eventually, I couldn't handle my leg falling asleep, so I moved him and he slept for another hour or so.  

He spent a couple of hours awake, and I managed to get him to eat a couple of crackers, and sip a little apple juice.  He took his medications, but about 15 minutes later he threw that back up.  Poor guy had nothing in him.  I took him to bed, and lay down with him.  He pretty well slept the whole evening through.

Because he was feeling so bad, we missed our dressing change for his Hickman catheter.  And his evening meds came back up.  Not the best of days.

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Wed, 11 Feb 2004

Day 20, Induction
We've spent the last few days trying to keep up with Nate.  He's not that physically able, but his mind is active.  The steroid makes him a bit restless, and he doesn't stay focused for very long.  He's keeping us busy, getting things out for him to do just in time for him to switch to something new.  That, and trying to keep him fed.  I'm going to hang a sign around his neck that says "Feed Me".

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Tue, 10 Feb 2004

Day 19, Induction
I've been doing a crash course in leukemia treatment protocols.  The doctor has asked whether we want to be included in a clinical study for treatment of leukemia.  This is study COG-P9904, treatment for low risk ALL.  It turns out that Nate's leukemia has a genetic characteristic, the TEL/AML1 translocation, that scientists believe makes it easier to treat.  This comes from prior treatment (backwards looking study), where the success rate of kids with the TEL/AML1 translocation was higher than those without.  However, all of those kids were treated using a standard protocol.  So, this new study is to determine whether kids with TEL/AML1 can be treated with less intensive therapy (and less toxic, meaning less side effects and late effects).  If we choose to enroll, Nate would be randomly placed into one of the arms of the study.  This could mean he would get a more "standard" intensity therapy, or he might get a less intense therapy.  

Our big concern, however, is that if he's treated with the less intense therapy, he might be more likely to relapse.  And, relapse is a very bad thing.  However, the higher toxicity of the standard therapy means that he would be at greater risk of developing heart problems, bone problems, liver problems, neurocognitive effects, etc.  How do you choose?  And, yet, Christa and I will.  Because we have to.

Continue to learn is the best I can do.  We have to decide right around the end of induction.  We've got about a week.

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Sun, 08 Feb 2004

Day 17, Induction
Park Day.

Today was a good day.  Somewhere in here Nate decided he wanted to go to the park and feed the ducks.  So we packed up the kids, some bread and headed off to central park in Santa Clara.  The weather was beautiful, sun was out and it was quite warm.  Nate rode on the swing for just a couple minutes, but tired of that quickly.  We walked over to the pond where the ducks were.  Nate spent a good while tossing pieces of bread to the ducks.  It was pretty fun.  Nice to have my old Nate back.  

Of course, he didn't last too long. So we all headed back home.

daddy and boys at park Nate, Daddy and Andrew at the park.

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Fri, 06 Feb 2004

Day 15, Induction
Nate and I headed off to the Day Hospital at LPCH for a blood transfusion, while Christa stayed home with AJ.  This is the first time only one of us has gone with Nate to the hospital.  He was feeling pretty good (it's all relative).  I packed up a couple of movies, lunch, and a few toys.  After his vitals were taken, he got a bed.  We got him set up in his room, with TV to watch a movie on.  We shared with a little girl, of probably 8 to 10 years old.  She was pretty nice, and spent a while playing video games.  The nurses got Nate's transfusion blood hooked up to his central line, without much fuss at all.  I'm so happy we decided to do the central line.  It means that he doesn't have to get IV sticks or blood draws using a needle.  Of course, we have daily maintenance on the line, but that's not very difficult.

We watched our Hercules DVD, and did pretty ok.  Somewhere in there Nate wanted me to go to the cafeteria for cheese pizza... I got down there, and there wasn't any.  So, I grabbed a bagel and some cream cheese, and headed back upstairs.  The nurses are very nice, and kept an eye on Nate while I was fetching food.  I think they've seen that once or twice.

Towards the end, Nate was getting a little tired, and he definately wanted to go home.  It was good that everything went smoothly, so we got out on time and headed home.

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Thu, 05 Feb 2004

Day 14, Induction
Clinic visit day.  The day started off pretty good.  Nate woke up complaining that he felt like he was going to throw up.  But he didn't.  Then, he got up and was in good spirits, helping Christa make pancakes.  After eating, he started complaining about his waist hurting again.  Lots of crying out.  I don't think his digestive system is back to normal yet.  

Grandma Madie came over to watch Andrew while we headed off to the clinic.  At our appointment, they took blood for Nate's labs.  Lynn checked Nate's belly to see if there might be something causing trouble.  She didn't find anything obvious, but she wanted us to see Dr. Marina just to make sure nothing is being missed.  However, the doctor was not available for while, so we headed up to the third floor to check out the inpatient kid's play area.  Unfortunately, Nate had gotten the idea that he wanted cheese pizza, and he's relentless these days when it comes to food.  We would have liked to have him hang out a little more, and become familiar with the place.  We want to take some of the fear out of the place, because future phases of treatment will require admission to the hospital.

We ended up down in the cafeteria, eating.... you guessed it.... cheese pizza.  Not the best choice if your stomach is troubling you, but Nate is nuts for food.

His labs came back and his numbers were down.  We're gonna do a transfusion tomorrow, bring his hemoglobin back up.  But, that'll mean a trip to the day hospital, and at least 4+ hours hanging out there.  Dr. Marina checked out Nate, and her opinion is that he just has gas in his intestinal tract.  They ran another blood test to check for a potential pancreatic issue, that might account for the stomach pain.  But, it ended up coming back negative.

When we got home, Nate watched a movie, and we got some time with Andrew.  By 8pm or so, both kids were asleep in bed.  Another day down.


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Wed, 04 Feb 2004

Day 13, Induction
Today was a bit of a struggle.  Nate was complaining that his stomach hurt, at different times.  However, he just seemed real emotional, and spent a lot of time crying without being able to say why.  He spent a good while watching TV, took a nap around noon, and then spent more time watching TV.

I ran out and got 4 new tires on the van, since it really needed them.  Driving up 280 on Monday in the heavy downpour made me realize I needed to do it soon.  My dad went with me, and while they put tires on the van, he and I had some noodles for lunch.  And a vietnamese iced coffee.  It was nice to get out for a while.  

When I got home, I spent time playing with Nate.  It was Transformers vs. Bionicles.  He was the Transformers, and somehow his guys always won.

Nate woke up some in the middle of this night.  Christa went in and comforted him, and ended up sleeping for a while in his bed.

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Tue, 03 Feb 2004

Day 12, Induction
Whooo hoooo!!!  We have output.  

Nate slept pretty well last night.  He woke up in the middle of the night with a bad dream (I'm sure someone was telling him they'd have to poke him 2 times, based upon some words he mumbled), so I crawled into his bed and slept with him.  He needs a bigger race car bed.  At least it's a twin, and not one of those little toddler beds.  When he woke up this morning, he called for me to take him into the bathroom.  He sat down on his little potty (from back when he was potty training so long ago), and managed a small bowel movement.  

After a little bagel and Jamba Juice (ordered with a double-dose of fiber boost), Nate had another movement, and now things are working good.  It's amazing how happy that can make a parent!  We're hoping this is the end of the stomach pains from the constipation.

The day ended up being a good one.  Probably the best in a week or so.  No hospital visits, everything working kind of according to plan.   Nate's even taking his medicine fairly well.  It's amazing that if the only thing that happens is the outburts and manic behavior caused by the steroids, then this is a good day.

Christa managed to go work out for a bit.  She wants to keep her strength up, which will help with her pregnancy.  And, the workout should help relieve some stress.

Nate cried out several times during the night, and I ended up comforting him in his bed.
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Mon, 02 Feb 2004

Day 11, Induction
Still constipated.  We talked with Lynn at the clinic this morning.  She wanted us to bring Nate in for a x-ray to check his abdomen, and of course the usual blood work.  The x-ray looked ok.  She said there was a lot of stool in there, but it wasn't too impacted.  So, she gave us a maximun dose of magnesium citrate for Nate, 2.5 ounces.  We mixed it into a glass of cranberry juice and managed to get him to drink the whole thing with some lunch.  He's still nuts for chips.  

We didn't get any production from the magnesium citrate.  So, Lynn got a ducolax pill for Nate to take.  These have to be swallowed whole, so Christa managed to find a jello at the hospital cafeteria.   The guy had to find one in the back and get approval from his manager.  Who would have thought that it's difficult to find jello in a hospital?  We put the pill into a spoonful of the jello, and fed it to Nate.  Ooops... he crunched the pill with his teeth before swallowing it.  A few minutes later Nate said he felt like he was going to throw up... and that's exactly what he did.  I had the garbage can in the waiting room handy for it.  I thought he was done, and we were trying to get into the back area and get a bucket, and he managed to throw up on the floor of the waiting room.  Oh well.  Poor guy.  

After he was done throwing up, Lynn sent us home, telling us to give him  more MiraLax, and another full dose of magnesium citrate.  We managed to get those into Nate before he went to bed.  Another day down, and still no output.

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Sun, 01 Feb 2004

Day 10, Induction
Nate's constipation has persisted.  He was up late last night (1:30 in the morning) with stomach pain.  We're dosing him with magnesium citrate oral solution.  The doctor says this is the more effective of the over the counter laxatives we can give Nate.  He's not having much fun with this, though.  More medicine is not what he's looking for.

Nana came over in the morning to help out with Andrew, because Nate has been hurting and wanting Mama and Daddy.  It's good to be loved.  Nana gave Andrew a bath, which he always loves.  After his morning nap, Nana took AJ over to her house, fed him lunch and kept him until it was time for his afternoon nap.  Papa came back over with AJ then, and we put him down for his nap.  

We spoke with the doctor and he wants us to give Nate phospho soda also.  This is a saline laxative.  We're alternating doses of the magnesium citrate.

Nate is hungry, but we're not letting him have anything but fruit.  He's quite mad about that, and letting us know.

We spoke with the doctor again, to find out what to expect if we don't get anywhere.  He said that if Nate hasn't had a bowel movement by tomorrow, then he might have to go into the day hospital.  They would then have to put a feeding tube down his throat to give him something called "go lightly".  Apparently, it's what they use to prep patients for intestinal type surgeries.  It apparently is very effective at moving things.  But the volume that is required just can't be swallowed by kids.  I guess it's very hard for adults to get it down.  He also said let's double our dosage of the magnesium citrate.

Nate's got a little gas going, but no BM yet.  I'm determined to keep Nate at this all night long if required, waking him up every 2 hours if that's what it takes to get things done.  I really don't want him to have to go to the hospital tomorrow.


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Sat, 31 Jan 2004

Day 9, Induction
Today is the day my family is going to be in town.  We were supposed to have a combined birthday party for Andrew and Brittanie's birthdays.  However, that was the plan BC (before cancer).  So, all that went out the window.

Nate did great taking his meds this morning.  Hardly any fighting.  This is the best day yet for that.  Gives us hope that someday he can just take them without the huge struggles that cause us all so much stress.

Everyone came down, but they went to my parent's house rather than ours.  My sister's came over, not all at once.  Vicki brought Ali's girls over, and Nate actually went outsite and played with them a little.  He rode his big tricycle around the path once or so, played in the sandbox a little, and otherwise cruised around.  But, Nate ran out of steam pretty quick (image that) and came inside.  He ended up watching some TV.  Everyone ended up coming over to see him, except for Dale, Missy and Megan.  I guess they had colds earlier in the week, so we couldn't let them near him.

Nate was having stomach pains, most likely because he's constipated.  We gave him some MiraLax, like we did yesterday, but it didn't have any results.  Christa called the on-call Hemo/Onc and he said the miralax is more of a maintenance thing.  It's not strong enough if we get behind.  So, he said we should get magnesium citrate and use that.  Christa ran out to the store and bought a bottle, and we started his first dose about 7:30 pm.  We're supposed to give it every 4 hours.

Nate was in quite a bit of pain tonight.  We ended up being up late, because he was crying from stomach pain.  This laxative sure isn't kicking in the way I would like.   Nate finally fell asleep about 1:30 am, leaning against me in bed.  I tried not moving too much, because I wanted him to get some sleep.  He slept till 7:30 am, so we missed his 3:30 am dosage.  Oh well.

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Fri, 30 Jan 2004

Day 8, Induction
This is the day after Nate's surgery.  He's been a little sore, but otherwise ok.  We stayed home, which was nice.  The homecare company that is handling our supplies for the Hickman line sent out a nurse today.  Her job was to do training, and to do a sterile dressing change.  The dressing change was painful.  Getting the dressing off induced a lot of crying and screaming.  Nate's too sensitive to that part.  Christa did a lot of the dressing removal, using the adhesive removers.

The nurse did the cleaning of the site, using iodine and alcohol.  I'm not that impressed with her technique.  Ok, but not great.  You can just get a sense of these things, and we were trained very specifically the prior day.  However, her flush of his line I had a real problem with.  She cleaned the cap quickly with an alcohol pad, a little brief in my opinion.  She flushed his line, and then closed the clamp before disconnecting the heparin.  When she took off the syringe, the white valve in the cap never popped out.  I told her that looked wrong, and she said don't worry about it.  It'll eventually pop out.  She said she teaches people this way so that they don't forget to close the clamp.  As soon as she was done, I released the clamp to let the cap pop out.  She was wrong, and we knew it.  The positive pressure in the line should hold the valve out, and seal out contaminants.

The nurse said something about coming back Monday, for some reason or other, but Christa and I were pretty sure at this point we didn't even want her here.

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Thu, 29 Jan 2004

Day 7, Induction
Nate had surgery today.  He couldn't eat since midnight, and no fluids after 6:30 am.  His surgery was scheduled for 9:30 am, but didn't end up happening until a little later.  He got a liquid sedative as part of his prep, which probably helped with the IV stick.  Got this one in the right hand.  Not many good spots left.

His platelets were low from the prior day labwork, so they did a platelet transfusion.  Didn't take too long once they got Nate's hand positioned just right.  His IV was positional, so if he moved his thumb, it would kind of stop up the IV.

We walked with Nate down the hall to see him off to the operating room, and he got to keep his green-blankie with him.  That is the single most important thing to him, probably more than Christa, Andrew or me.... or close to it.  They gave us a pager, and said they'd page us when surgery was done.  Rather than sit in the waiting room during his surgery, Denise from the home pharmacy took us downstairs to her office where she trained us on how to care for the new Hickman line.  It involves daily heparin flushes, bi-weekly cap changes, and once a week dressing changes.  We practiced on Chester, her model of a chest with a line protuding from it.

Once Nate was in recovery, we got to go in and see him.  We saw the doctor on the way in and he said everything went just fine.  In recovery, Nate was a little in and out, like most people.  His throat was real hoarse, so we gave him a few sips of apple juice.  His blood pressure was a little high, so they were watching that.  When he was more awake, he told us that he didn't want apple juice, he wanted BBQ chips.  And he was very serious about it.  We had a hard time not laughing about it.

After he was "recovered", we wheeled him down in a wheel chair to Clinic D.  There, he received his vincristine injection into his cool new central line.  It didn't require a needle stick.  What a wonderful thing.  Nate kind of felt sick, however, so they gave him a Zofran, to help.  And, we took a bucket home with us.  On the drive home, I sat in the back next to him, and Christa took us home, nice and slow.

Nate was feeling some pain later, so we gave him some Tylenol 3, which helps.  It also helps him sleep.

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Wed, 28 Jan 2004

Today is Andrew's first birthday.
 We're doing our best not to let him get lost in the madness.  Christa asked some of the preschool parents if someone could bake a cake for Andrew.  We had a 1 pm clinic visit.  They tried to get an IV into Nate, but had real trouble.  His left hand was all bruised up from prior sticks, his right had a bruise on the back from a stick, the crook of his right elbow had a bruise from a stick, so they tried his left arm.  I still had to hold him still, and tried to get him to use his breathing technique.  It's not as effective as we'd like, but it helps.  But, the IV stick was no use.  Poking around in his arm, and Pat couldn't seem to get it.  Nate's veins are not great for the needles.  Lynn walked in after the unsuccessful stick and said to just forget the IV and we'd just go to the lab for a blood draw.  That's easier than an IV stick.  She also new that we wanted to get home to have cake & ice cream for Andrew.

We had a surgical consult at 3pm.  We met with a PNP in clinic C, and went over his surgery information.  He was going to be receiving a Hickman double ended central line.  It would go into a major artery come out just above his collarbone, snake its way under the skin down to his chest, not very far from his nipple, where it would exit the skin.  It would have two lines there, and would be used in the future instead of having to put in IVs.  Since Nate's big fear at this point is the "pricks" as he calls them, this should make it much easier to go to the hospital.

Next we went to the lab, where he would get a prick.  So, the usual routine of Nate sitting in daddy's lap, where dad could hold him tight for the technician.  Once the needle is in, he settles down a lot.  The anticipation just tears him up.

We got home in time to have some dinner and then cake and ice cream with Andrew and the grandparent's.  Nate ended up sleeping in his bed during our small celebration.

Another day down, but tomorrow is surgery.

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Tue, 27 Jan 2004

Day 5, Induction
Tylenol 3 is our friend.

Nate woke up at 5:30 am this morning, just screaming.  His head hurt.  His jaw, the sides of his head.  His ears.  Whatever.  But he was just crazy.  We gave him the Tylenol with codeine, and it took almost an hour for it to kick in.  He just screamed, for such a long while.  We talked to the on call Hemo/Onc and she said that if he won't settle down, then we'll have to take him into the emergency room.  The clinic doesn't open until 9 am, so emergency is our other option.

I called Nana at 6 am, asking for help.  The baby had awakened, but we had our hands full with Nate.  We have relied on the grandparent's so much, I can't possibly imagine how we could get through this without them.  Nana came over quickly, which was a big help.  The on-call doctor had said that we could re-dose Nate at 3 hours if necessary, and that's what we ended up doing.  We pretty well wiped him out with the codeine by doing that.

It was kind of a long day, and Nate ended up being so zoned out.  He hardly wanted to eat, which makes it tougher to give him his meds.

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Mon, 26 Jan 2004

Day 4, Induction
Back to the hospital today.  We started off with an IV stick, which always bites.  Then blood draw for labs.  We moved to the day hospital for IV fluids, and hung out.  The nurses put on the numbing cream on top of both thighs, in preparation for our peg-asparignase shots today.  He's smart, and he knows what those patches mean.  When the time came, I climbed onto the bed, sitting behind him, with my legs pinning im in on either side of his.  The nurses took off the patches, sprayed his legs with cold numbing spray, and then did the injection.  One in each thigh simultaneously.  Obviously they know how to do this with little kids.  Nate had an unholy fit leading up the shots, but after he cracked us up.  He said "Oh.  That didn't hurt."  Yet again, the anticipation was worse than the event.

The nurses had to observe him for an hour to make sure he didn't have any reaction from the asparignase.  Then we got to go home, around 6pm.

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Sun, 25 Jan 2004

Day 3, Induction
Today was a day off.  No hospital visit.

Today was a great day.  Nate and I did a lot of playing.  He seems a little hyped up, maybe because his red blood count is up, and probably because of side effect of the steroid.  He wanted to chop wood, so chop wood we did.  Got out the sledge and wedges, and split some old wood outside.  He stripped bark off the sections, and checked out all the ants living in there.  Then, he moved on to wanting to dig for treasure.  But, we had to rake the leaves up first, before digging.  After raking, out came the shovels, and we dug for treasure.   He was crazy, but fun.

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Sat, 24 Jan 2004

Day 2, Induction
We spent a good chunk of time in the day hospital.  Nate still had the IV that was put in on Thursday, so he was able to avoid a prick today.  He was hooked up and hydrated for several hours.

His trouble this time was that he didn't want to take his medication.  He was refusing.  So, Paige, one of the nice nurses in the day hospital, got to show us how to force his mouth open by squeezing his cheeks between his teeth.  He took his meds there, but not by choice.

They took his IV out before we left, since it had been in for a couple of days already.  This means next time, he'll be getting a stick.  That's no fun to look forward to.

This evening Christa and I had to corner Nate, and force his mouth open to take his meds.  Unfortunately, I've had to see the bruises from this on his cheeks for more than a week following.  Problem with low platelets is the easy bruising.


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Fri, 23 Jan 2004

Day 1, Induction
Nate started his chemotherapy today.  This is day 1 of "induction", the first stage of chemotherapy.  This stage will last for 29 days.  The chemo today consists of a couple of things.  A spinal tap (officially a lumbar puncture, or LP for short) to sample his spinal fluid for testing, and an injection of Ara-C into his spinal cord.  The spinal tap was similar to the bone marrow aspiration procedure, in that we started by sedating him.  He fought it off pretty well, and was very concerned about getting a prick in his back.  It came down to me and a nurse holding him still, curled up in a ball on his side, while the PNP performed the spinal tap.  They say they're pretty good at "target practice" with a moving target, but I'd rather not test their skill.  

They took the spinal fluid sample, which drips out clear, and then injected the chemo drug into his spine.  After,  he just rested watching a movie.  After a little while we were moved tot he day hospital for his transfusion.  This was going to take quite a while (4 hours for the transfusion), so it's best over in day hospital where they have more room and more TV's.  

We understood that after the transfusion we'd be going home, and so that's what we had told Nate.  Unfortunately, that wasn't the case.  After the transfusion, they wanted to hydrate him for 3 hours with a bicarbonate solution, to help flush out his kidneys.  The concern is that during the first 5 days of chemo, they'll be killing so many leukemia cells that preventing an acid buildup in his kidneys is very important.

Nate was also complaining about his stomach hurting.  This was new since his LP, and the nurses were concerned that somehow it might be related to that.  I suspect he might have pulled a muscle in his abdomen when he struggled to move during the LP.  I had held his shoulders, head and legs to keep him in the ball shape, and I can tell you he's pretty strong.  Good thing he had the sedative, or he'd have been real trouble.  We ended up giving him a dose of Tylenol with codeine.

We were sent home with a gaggle of medications for Nate.  Dexamethasone, allopurinol, bicarbonate solution, septra, zofran, and probably a couple of other things I can't think of off-hand.  This ought to be fun.

Nate wasn't happy about having to stay, and he kept asking to go home.  This was another long day.  We'd been at the hospital all day.  When we left, he fell asleep in the car on the way home again.  Nate was loopy up in the car for a while, though.  I told him he was "loaded", and he said "bang bang bang... loaded like a bullet".  Christa and I couldn't help but crack up.  He then freaked out because he said our van was driving down the road on its side.  Then he fell asleep.  Again, we had a long quiet drive home.

When we got home, Nana & Papa, Grandma Madie & Grandpa Bob, and Auntie Vicki and Alex were there.  And, of course, Andrew was there. Vicki had driven down from Davis to see her little buddy.  She brought balloons for Nate, and he played with her for a while.  He was absolutely silly, probably from the codeine.  And, a little mean.

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Thu, 22 Jan 2004

Diagnosis
Nana and Papa came over to watch AJ in the morning.  We had to get up to the hospital at a reasonably early time.  We drove the truck, which was kind of a mistake.  The parking garage at the children's hospital really doesn't accomodate big vehicles very well.

We went to clinic D, which is the oncology and hematology clinic.  We checked in, and they took Nate to get vitals (temperature, blood pressure, height, weight).  Then they put some lidocaine solution on the backs of both hands, and on his lower back, where the bone marrow sample would be taken from.  Then they sent us into room 2, where we waited a bit.  Some nurses came in, and it seemed they wanted to get started  placing an IV.  We hadn't even seen the doctor yet.  The nurses had orders to take a bone marrow sample from Nate, so that's why they wanted to prepare him.  When they figured out that we hadn't even talked to the doctor yet, they slowed down, and found the doctor.  

Dr. Marina came in and met us.  She's very competent, and tries to keep a bit of levity in the conversation.  Pretty much the first thing she said was that after looking over Nate's bloodwork from the prior day, she's going with a working assumption that he has leukemia.  This was quite a blow for Christa and I.  Nobody so far had said they thought he might have cancer.  We feared that, and had done some reading on it the night before, but here it was right out in front of us now.  As Christa says, it's a good thing she told us with Nate in the room, because it sort of inspires you to stand strong.

The doctor explained that they would use a procedure called bone marrow aspiration to take a sample of his marrow, so that it could be analyzed.  They would put an IV in him, sedate him to make him sleepy, give a local anesthetic in the tissue of his lower back, upper bottom, where the needle would go through to the back of the pelvic bone.  Apparently that's one of the easiest places to take a sample.

She explained that within a couple hours after the sample, she would be able to diagnose if it was leukemia.  There are different types of leukemia, so if it was, then more time would be needed to identify specifically which type it is.

Following the discussion, the nurses came to install the first IV of Nate's life.  It was not a pleasant experience.  I had to hold him in my lap, and help hold his arms.  One nurse helped hold his hand, while the other nurse tried the vein in the back of his hand.  That poke was unsucessful.  They then tried the vein on the back of the same hand, closer to the thumb.  That was a successful stick.  Nate was able to finally calm down after they had taped up the IV.  

We went to the procedure room, just down the hall.  It's a small room, with two beds in it.  They have a TV with a VCR in there, and a cabinet with a bunch of kids videos.  This is a great thing.  We put on a video.  The PNP (Pediatric Nurse Practitioner) that is caring for Nate came and administered a sedative into Nate's IV.  Then we waited.  The idea was for him to get sleepy.  After a bit, he did become sleepy.  However, he never fell asleep.  Anytime anyone moved around him, he kept asking if he was gonna get a prick now.  When the time came, we rolled him over on the table.  Nate kept trying to turn and look behind him, asking "Am I gonna get a prick now?"  The nurses had all assured him, multiple times, that they would tell him when they were going to do something.  They would never surprise him.  So, after they peeled the tegaderm patch off his backside that had the lidocaine cream to numb the skin, and cleaned the site, they told him they were going to start.  I held his shoulders and head down, and a nurse held his feet.  They injected a local anesthetic to help numb the tissue.  Then, they used the large needle (looks like a stainless steel tube) and inserted that into the back of the pelvic bone.  The doctor had explained that they can numb the tissue, but they can't numb the bone.  It didn't look pleasant, and from his crying I'm sure it didn't feel good.  They took a bunch of vials of marrow, which pretty much just looks like blood.  When they were done they pulled out the big needle, and put a bandage on the site.  

Nate rested afterwards, half sleeping, half watching his movie.  The rest of the day is sort of a blur in my memory now.  We met sometime in the afternoon with Dr. Marina, where she informed us that Nate has ALL, or acute lymphoblastic leukemia.  She told us that it would be a couple of more hours before they determined whether it was of the B-cell variety or the T-cell type.  We were definately hoping for the b-cell type, as it's easier to treat.  Apparently the T-cell type likes to move to the spinal fluid, or something like that.  And, it would require radiation treatments to the cranium, or something.  It sure didn't sound good.

Later, we were moved to the day hospital, which is next door to the clinic.  Nate was on hydration, and they wanted to transfuse him.  It was getting late by this point.  The nurse started the transfusion.  About 15 minutes into his transfusion, his temperature had raised by 1 degree C, so they stopped the transfusion.  Two main reasons could be either infection, or a transfusion reaction.  To rule out infection, they needed to do a blood culture from a clean site... that meant another needle stick for Nate.  Poor guy, it had been such a long day, and I had to hold him for yet another "prick", as he calls them.  No infection was determined, so it was ruled a transfusion reaction.  The solution... pre-medicate him next time with Tylenol.  So the transfusion was called off, and we would need to do one the next day.

The doctor found us at some point to give us the good news that the leukemia was of the B-cell variety.  We were dealt a bad hand, but at least there's a good card or two in there.  She explained that sometime during the next several weeks, Nate would be classified as high risk, normal risk or low risk, according to a number of criteria.  This would help determine what his treatment will be over the subsequent months.

We were wiped by the end of this day.  The stress of everything was just overwhelming.  The drive home was so long.  What can you say to each other as your 4 year old boy is sleeping in his car-seat, and you've just learned today that he has cancer?  As I lay Nate into his bed, he rubbed his backside and asked me why he was sore back there.  Apparently the sedative really does make him forget.  For that I'm very thankful.  Late this evening, after everyone was gone and Nate and Andrew were sleeping, we sent an email message out to some friends and family.  If you didn't get the email, please forgive us.  It was the end of the single longest day of our lives.  Here is that
message.
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Wed, 21 Jan 2004

Something is wrong.
We took Nate to his pediatrician's office for a CBC blood workup.  His pediatrician ordered a CBC to see what was going on with his blood cell counts, and a lead test to check for environmental factors possibly causing his anemia.  This required drawing a couple vials of blood from his arm, and I had to physically restrain him so they could do the blood draw.

After the blood was drawn, we left the office.  Christa went home with the kids, and I headed in to the office.  Christa called me a little before noon, and said that the pediatrician called.  Nate's labs showed his hemoglobin had dropped further, and his iron was on the high end of normal.   His anemia was obviously not caused by an iron deficiency.  Our pediatrician had called the hemotology doctors at Lucille Packard Children's Hospital and consulted with them.  They scheduled an appointment for us for Thursday, the next morning.  And, it was likely that they would do a bone marrow aspiration.  This involved taking a sample of bone marrow for analysis.  Because of this, we had to follow pre-operative instructions with Nate.  No food after midnight, only clear liquids.

When Christa told this to me, I was stunned.  I walked into an empty office at work and talked with her.  She was very upset, and I was getting there.  My mind was racing, as to what could be the deal.  Our doctor had not mentioned the possibility of leukemia, but to us it was obvious that his anemia was out of the normal.  I was very concerned.  After talking to Christa, I left the building.  I went for a walk, very upset.  I stopped and sat on a curb, and called my parents.  I told them I needed their help.  I explained that we needed to take Nate to the Children's Hospital at Stanford the following morning, and that we would need someone to watch the baby.  My dad said absolutely, they would.  He also tried to reassure me, calm me down a little.  

Just a little later I walked back to the office.  My boss, Gene, called me on my cell, wondering if everything was ok.  When Christa had called, I was in a meeting.  I stepped out to take her call, and I never returned.  I told him that no, I wasn't really ok.  That I had to take care of some family stuff.  A few minutes later, I walked into the office, and Gene saw me.  He said "what are you still doing here?"  I replied that I needed to grab my laptop, and bag.  As I walked through the office, one of my co-workers was trying to ask me a question.  Gene ran interference, so I could just grab my stuff and head home.

That afternoon and evening was a long wait.  Christa and I alternated lookup up information on the web regarding anemia.  There seem to be lots of different diseases that can cause it, one of them being leukemia.  We were really hoping that Nate's anemia was caused by nothing too serious.


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Mon, 15 Dec 2003

December, 2003
Nate had been acting a little sluggish for a while.  We first noticed when the pre-school year started that he seemed to be kind of tired.  He really didn't seem to be clicking as much at school, but then again he was in a class with new students (we kept him in the 3's class, while most of his former class mates went on to the 4's class), who were much younger than him.

He caught the flu earlier this month, just like the rest of us in the family (all 4 of us got it).  After the flu, it did seem that every few days maybe he wasn't really feeling up to par.   We took him to the pediatrician to have him examined.  She checked him out, and also we did a finger-prick blood test, which I believe is a check mostly for hemoglobin.  I had to physically hold him down while they did the test, because he's definitely afraid of being "pricked".  The results came back that he was a little anemic, but most of the time that is due to low iron.  We have been lucky that Nate would always eat a good, varied diet, so this seemed a little surprising.  However, I had a low hemoglobin condition when I was a kid, and took an iron supplement for a while.  So, we started an iron supplement.  A fairly nasty tasting liquid.  He did a great job with it, and learned how to shoot it, like a shot of tequila.  Apparently, he's ready for college.


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©2007 Greg Doane